What its like dating Asian women

Before I realised I had what is perjoratively known to some people as Asian fever, my attempts at dating were haphazard. They were fraught with anxiety and awkwardness. I had been raised to expect certain things from women and it was a continual disappointment when I saw that things didn’t go according to plan.


I didn’t really think too much about it until I started going out with women from Asian countries. Now, I am not some one who could be called a player by any mean

The process by which men have typically approached women have come across as sleazy to me. So one night stands have never appealed to me and I don’t like nightclubs.

I am essentially a very romantic person. For me, the toughest thing has been finding a woman who feels the same way.

Happily, I’ve managed to meet some women who share my feelings. So, what’s it like with Asian girls, and aren’t women all pretty much the same?

I’d have to say no. Whilst globalisation has meant that we all eat McDonalds and wear McDonalds, there are still very clear differences in attitude between western and oriental women.

First things first. Western women will put their needs first. This is immediately clear from browsing through any dating profile on Okcupid or similar sites. A typical profile will contain any number of requirements that a man must have should he consider contacting her. These will range from wanting someone who has a good job to having certain cultural interests that match hers. In all of these requirements, there is no mention of anything that the women are going to offer the man. In fact, he should be lucky if he ever gets the opportunity to spend time with her.

I think I failed on most of the dates I went on was because the women I went out with seemed to have acutally zero interest in learning about me. Rather, they saw the date as an opportunity to vent about everything from how much they hated their jobs to what an asshole their previous boyfriends. It never occured to them to wonder if I would find this interesting or if I would be attracted to them for sharing this information.

N0w when I’ve been out with women from South Korea, China, and other Pacific Rim countries, they have all been genuinely interested in what I have to say. Dates are a pleasure because the conversations are not one-sided.  Conversations flow easily because with Asian girls they are actually interested in what you think and they want to learn more about you.

A real problem I have with western girls is their absolute negativity towards most things. We can all have days when we feel that life is against us but surely a date is not such a time to start ranting?

When it’s time to pay the bill, it’s typical for western women to expect men to pay the bill. In fact, in spite of wanting absolute equality in almost every aspect of their lives, western women will resent any guy who, god forbid, asks her to contribute her share of the bill. Yet, most Asian girls will immediately offer to pay when the cheque lands on the table. The funny thing is that whenever I go out with Asian women I nearly always pay beacause I will have had a great time and its my pleasure to do so in such cases.

When it comes to dressing up, Asian women will invariably go to some effort when they meet you. Maybe they will wear their hair a certain way. If they wear make-up it will be tastefully and carefully applied. Perhaps they will wear a nice skirt with a jacket. Every detail will be taken care of. Now, most western women will most likely not bother making any kind of effort at all.

Asian women are more attentive. For example, if you spill mayonnaise on your trousers, don’t expect them to watch it sink in and stain. A South Korean lady was immediately dabbing on my jeans when this happened to me recently.

Asian women will order drinks, put food on your plate, and help you carry things.

When the date is over and it’s time to say good-night, the Asian woman will say goodbye and thank you for a wonderful evening. You will say thank you and it will be entirely honest. Then when you get home you will find a thoughtful text message saying how much they enjoyed it and saying they would like to see you again.

To be honest, I wouldn’t expect anything like this from western women. I’d be surprised if they would even remember the date later on that evening.

Sometimes I wonder if women in these countries really actually want anything from men? Do they resent men who show interest in them or make an effort to get to know them?

I’ve now been dating ORiental women exclusively for the last year. It’s been a total pleasure and I’ve not looked back.





7 thoughts on “What its like dating Asian women”

  1. Interesting. Do you know that what you say about western girls is what a lot of Korean men complain about? Because in Korea, man is (was) supposed to pay all the bills and stuff. I’m sure every woman is different, but maybe (native) Asian girls act differently when dating a foreigner.

    Your site looks nice and neat now. Good job!

  2. Thanks for your comment. That’s interesting. I think any man would complain if he thought that women were taking advantage. It can be nice for someone to offer to pay, but if someone paid for me I would imagine they would be expecting something in return.

    Yes, I am happier with how my site looks now.

  3. First things first, you a have nicely designed website and kudos for keeping up the writing.

    However I have a bad feeling about this article. I feel your opinion is examplary for what contributes to the “yellow fever” stereotype. I would agree that there are people more interested in other cultures than their own for several reasons. But I don’t think it’s fair to characterize asian nor caucasian women the way you did. There are cultural differences, always. But most of them you will only discover being in a close relationship with someone over several months/years. The characeristics you describe however are on a very personal level and only cover early dating related situations. Additionally, taking “globlization” into account, you will find LOTS of upper class asian women who expect nothing more from you than carry her bag around and pay her clothes. Bold and simple.

    I hoped you would’ve gone more into the details and point out some real cultural differences. For example, it is still quite uncommon in a lot of asian countries to live a wild/open sex life like in the west (at least if we speak about the more developed countries). In my opinion this has a lot to do with the way how we deal with sexualization in our culture and foremost economy. But one can already observe the change of behaviour regarding this in modern asian cities over the last years.

  4. These are very interesting comments: “LOTS of upper class asian women who expect nothing more from you than carry her bag around and pay her clothes. Bold and simple.”
    I have experienced that, but I know I would never attract such a woman. Asian or not, there are some behaviours i’m not interested in. Yes, I’m sure you’re right, at least, I imagine that in Asian countries people (women) are more conservative and are less likely to engage in open sexual relationships.
    Most men aren’t so interested in that anyway and would rather have traditional girlfriend. Most western women aren’t providing this and Asian women seem more able to meet their needs. Since I wrote the article I have been in a relationship with a charming woman from Japan , so it’s been going well for me.

  5. This article has angered me quite a bit. First of all, please correct your article with SOME Western women will put their needs first, please don’t assume all Western women act like this. Not all of us do. You must have chosen terrible women to go on dates with if you think they had ‘zero interest in learning about you’. Bad writing.

  6. I’ve read a few of your posts on this blog and have to say it’s some of the vilest stuff I’ve ever read. You want to be pampered and fawned over like some kind of white god, and it’s really embarassing to read. I was about to list some of the issues I have with your content but the prospect is daunting and I wouldn’t know where to begin.

    I have a sneaking suspicion that you find it difficult to get a ‘western’ girlfriend because, sharing a common language and culture, it’s easier for us to pick up on general creepiness and red flags. Inevitably you will put this down to my typically negative English-girl attitude, but someone needs to tell you how badly you come across. I feel very sorry for the ‘oriental women’ that have the misfortune of dating you (or being paid to have sex with you, for that matter).

    1. you make some valid points but I disagree that I want to be treated like I’m someone special. I’m looking for someone who can appreciate me for who I am just as we all are. I wouldn’t mind if you did list your issues – it would help me as a writer.

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