Monthly Archives: June 2020

dating, Korean Culture, Personal

On getting my first taste of Asian fever

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I had only been living in New Malden for a few months, the nondescript suburban neighborhood in South-west London between Wimbledon and Kingston. It’s not known by anyone outside of the area, except for one thing. It has the largest Korean community outside of Korea, and for me that was the reason why I ended up spending more than five years there.

I was living right in the middle of Korea-town – and as far I was concerned this was the best place in London to be. There may have been trendy areas outside – that were better connected to the rest of London. But what did I care? I had twenty Korean restaurants to visit – this was the closest I was going to get to Korea without moving there.

To give things some context, only two years before, Psy had smashed internet records by being the most played video on Youtube. Korean movies had already become well-known, and people were getting excited by Korean dramas. The K-pop scene had yet to become the all-conquering global power it is now, but it was getting there. But all this is just the frills, the extras on what was and is my primary reason for becoming interested in Korea.

I really started to notice the women when I moved to Korea town. The first thing I did was try to learn Korean. There’s no better way to meet a girl than attempting to speak her language. At the same time this was happening I got my first law firm job – providing personal injury support for road accident victims.

Maybe it wasn’t the best job – I was far too underpaid for the stress I got trying to meet targets- but there was one thing that made me happy to come to work each day.

Nak-young was a legal secretary who started working a month after I did. Eun Young was married and had a child. Not that that stopped me speaking to her. Nak-young was tall and slim. As far I was concerned she was the most beautiful woman in my life – she had the oval face, pale skin and full lips that are associated with Korean beauty. She was much nicer than most of the k-pop girls as well. She looked great wearing a hoodie or full evening wear. I soon started treating Nak-young as a close friend and the time we spent together was extremely precious to me.

We didn’t stop seeing each other after I left the job – she got to know me even better – as I felt that i could tell her everything about myself. i started to realise that there were two types of women as far as Asian women are concerned. There are those girls you can go out with – who may go on to be your girlfriend. Then there are those who will become your close friend, someone you can confide in, on the understanding that you will remain only friends. Even if I knew that Nak-young was never going to be more than a friend, I will say that I learned so much from my time with her.

When we went out the first time she told me about her job as an air hostess, then meeting her husband, and having a son with learning difficulties. The second time, it was her turn to talk about me – and she spent most of the time helping me find a way I could have sex with my girlfriend.

I won’t say that Nak-young was my Asian first time because she was not the first Asian woman I was intimate with ( I count our encounters as intimate based on the closeness of our thoughts). I think Nak-young was smart enough to see how much our experiences meant to me, though I’m sure they were more significant to me than her.

For the first time in my life, I felt that my life had a clear sense of purpose.. I felt there was a clear connection between the spicy heat of pickled cabbage, the green bottles of soju I drank, and Nak-young’s jet black hair, long legs and dazzling crescent moon eyes. My world was good and I loved everything in it.

TV

Fresh off the Boat and Kim’s Convenience

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Fresh off the Boat ended its run in February, more than five years since it originally started. For being the sole representation of Asians on TV, it has left an outstanding legacy. But there has been another Asian family TV show that has been gaining followers and fans – Kim’s Convenience.

The shows are superficially similar – both examine families living in a North American city and show how they sometimes struggle to fit in. But once you actually watch Kims Convenience you start to realise that it’s wrong to look at Kims expecting it to be the same as FOTB. It’s set in Canada, for a start, and Fresh was deliberately filmed in Florida of the nineties. The style of FOTB is very ironic and knowing – we can laugh at how things used to be. Kims is very much the show of now – it’s the present after all. Most of it is very realistic – which is not how FOTB unfolds, because Fresh is the product of a writer’s imperfect memories of growing up.

Kim’s is often very ordinary world, and a more politically correct one than FOTB

However much the actual Eddie Huang (writer of the book) complained that it removed the darker moments, the first season does a brilliant job delineating the first year that the Huangs spend trying to familiarise themselves with white collar Orlando. Perhaps the earliest episodes were a little weak comedy wise, but even by episode 6 they were getting into really exciting territory – tackling racist stereotypes head-on and looking at how hard it is to remain true to your culture.

The show that broke the record for the longest Asian sitcom and a classic in its own right.

Fresh used the nineties setting to give many fans a warm glow – the colours of the clothes and the glossy neighborhood setting always make for great TV. Each episode contained loving references to popular fads of the time. Whether it was Eddie’s love of Biggie and Tupac, or Evan’s Beanie Babies, the show was a lovely trip down memory lane for anyone who can remember growing up in the nineties.

Obssessed with hip-hop and American culture, Eddie mostly rejects Chinese traditions.

Even more importantly – the show was often laugh out loud funny – by the time they made an episode actually filmed in Taiwan there were jokes every three seconds. Another great pleasure was had in watching the three Huang brothers growing up- the show caught the boys just as they were becoming interesting, and stopped when Eddie had finally matured into a young man.

It’s hard to find as much to like in Kim’s Convenience Store. The Kims seem to be accepted by everyone in their Vancouver neighborhood. There are no real conflicts here, except of the very trivial kind. The family want to hold on to their Korean heritage rather than embrace Canadian culture. There’s nothing like the So Chineez episode – where Jessica started speaking in Mandarin and cooked Chinese dishes. The Kims don’t need to do any of that – because people already accept them as they are. It may be an example of multi-culturalism, but it’s boring to watch a show when there are no conflicts.

Maybe for comedy to be successful, you need an element of cultural snobbery, or humiliation. But the characters in Kim’s are tolerated all the time, even when they make cultural faux pas. Also , the characters are too down to earth to be really memorable as sitcom characters. If the Kims are funny , it’s mostly down to the strong Korean accents, rather than any external situations. There’s nobody as comically brilliant as Jessica Huang -who may have been overplayed but was always recognisably human.

Jessica Huang – the Chinese mum played by Constance Wu

As for the writing, FOTB was much stronger. Every episode followed a classic sitcom arc of problem, resolution, and pay-off. There were cute jokes about Evan’s toys, Eddie’s lunch, or how much Jessica loved Costco. Also, the influence of the wicked humour of Ali Wong was much in evidence. There was the ‘Asian Flush’ episode, which Wong made a brief appearance in, for example. Then there were the Christmas episodes with Jessica’s model villlage and her Lao Ban Santa costume. Some of the best involved mocking Asian customs such as Chinese New Year, and their love of Asian sports stars. There were double entendres, references to Chinese culture that would not always sink in immediately – and a whole soundtrack of old Hip-hop that would be used just at the right time.

Kims has stories which simply meander and fizzle out, there are no dramatic conclusions or very big lessons to learn. Take one episode in Season 1. An old flame of Amma’s arrives in the shop and Janet thinks that he is still interested in her. It could be exciting but he quickly explains that he is married. The storylines are weak – one episode climaxes with the characters getting food poisoning from a bad Korean stew. Episodes aren’t connected and could probably be watched in random order. FOTB was more enjoyable – it’s funny to watch children doing silly things – Kims can’t provide this – the best it can do is to have the characters learn something about themselves – Uppa realises he is too bossy, or the daughter asserts her independence.

I know exactly which show I would prefer to watch. Still, i’m not complaining – it’s always good to see Asians on TV; and maybe – just maybe – Kim’s can make new episodes which are up to the standard of Fresh.

Films, sex

Does porn Asian porn do more harm than good?

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I like to watch porn, and as I have a liking for Asian women, I like to see some Asian porn from time to time. If I’m interested in women from a particular country, I will tailor my search to find porn that matches exactly the Asian nationality I am looking for.

I know I’m not alone in my preference. For example, visit pornhub and you will see Asian as one of the first categories that people can search for. Not merely because it begins with A, but simply because Asian is probably the most popular category there is. And although some would call it a fetish, its more that men prefer to watch Asian women above women of any other nationality. I’ll reserve the term fetish for the category of more extreme stuff which tends to involve Asian women.

What I’m more concerned with here is the standard of the pornography (Asian) that is produced and the possible messages it sends to the user. Let’s say for simplicity sake that the user we are talking about is a white male. He probably meets few Asian woman IRL, unless he happens to be travelling to an Asian country or living in one. And let’s also assume that he doesn’t have an Asian girlfriend. His first exposure to Asian women is likely to come from pornography – and this may shape his ideas about Asian women.

Generally the nature of Asian pornography tends to put an emphasis on the Asian ethnicity of the performers first and foremost. It’s as if the main appeal of these women is their Asian-ness. This is of course true of many women in porn – women being sold on the basis of where they come from, body type – but it seems especially true of Asian porn. Then there is the perceived ‘foreign’ appeal that these women have. For example, films typically emphasise their foreign ethnicity in many ways. It’s common for titles to reference particular cultural symbols – the fortune cookie, sakura for Japan – or simply references to Asian food (one series being called Asian buffet).

For most American pornography the titles reflect the desire white men have for Asian women. Most pornographic film scenarios combine an Asian woman with a white man, but it’s becoming more common to see black men with Asian women too – even becoming a sub-category in its own right. In spite of the fact that many Asian women may never date a man outside their own race – from watching these films you get the idea that all Asian women are desperate to have sex with he first white or black man that the meet. One thing that is less common is any reference to Asian genitalia being any different from other women’s – and here the makers may be doing some service to Asian women in refusing to spread this trope. It’s also less common to see Asian women being depicted as submissive. Perhaps this isn’t such a good stereotype to use if you want to show a confident and sexy woman.

On the other hand – If you’re an ASian woman, you might worry more about the damage these films do in a general sense. For example – the sheer quantity of porn produced in Japan must have an effect on the way Japanese women are viewed by outsiders – and not all of it is positive. Then again – I wonder how many men have watched these films and thought that they would like an Asian or in particular a Japanese girlfriend. Here it’s worth pointing out that of all the pornography produced in Japan (known as AV) – it’s always Japanese women and Japanese men (or occasionally a white woman and a Japanese man). this gives the impression (rightly or not) that it’s harder for foreign men to have sex with Japanese women or have them as partner.

Examples of typical Japanese erotic films known as AV. Japan has shown a remarkable acceptance of pornography – with magazines and DVDs sold openly; many of the performers are given a a positive public profile and have a large following.

If there’s a category of Asian porn that is likely to harm Asian women the most, it is the films that show older western men in poorer Asian countries seeking out usually younger Asian women and filming them for sex. My biggest concern for these films is that the women are greatly disadvantaged economically and cannot truly give their consent. Pornographic websites producing this content send out the message that women in Thailand or Vietnam are so much easier to have sex with; and are not concerned even with sexual health or protection. They spread the troubling belief that women can be bought and used purely for men’s sexual pleasure. Once the women are filmed in these situations, they lose all control over their freedoms: the information is able to spread across the internet. It’s probable that the companies which take the money from the subscribers paying for the content are seeing the profits from this exploitation. If these women had more power – they could find away to generate income through producing their own media and by having control of its distribution. We are already seeing this happen with Asian performers in the States – with adult actresses such as Vina Skyy and Cindy Starfall producing their own material which they can promote through fan only websites. Sadly, the woman in poorer Asian countries have no such option for their work.

Asian Sex Diary features hundreds of sex videos, filmed mainly in Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines. Of all the Asian pornography , these films are probably the most degrading and exploitative – with little evidence of consensual activity.

If they wanted to, the women in amateur sex videos which are shown online could use the videos as promotion. If they could find a way to target the users directly – treating them to self-produced content. Every time a new video is uploaded, it gets harder and harder for men to see women in poorer Asian countries as having much choice over what happens to them. Men will continue to travel to these countries because the women are seen to be more sexually promiscuous – and the advantage on most occasions comes from simply having a foreign passport. It will only change when the women

If there is a positive side to all of the Asian pornography, it’s that men will continue to seek out Asian women for sex, companionship and perhaps marriage. The demand for Asian porn is amply met by supply which seems to show no signs of slowing down. If anything, there is more pornography than ever before – the huge amount of Asian performers is evidence of this. And with so many white men favouring Asian women, how much of this is down to the rise of Asian pornography is obviously difficult to say. At it’s best, pornography can help to teach people about sexuality. The best films show sexuality in a positive light and I will continue to watch films which I believe send out positive messages.

Until they do, the men who make this material will continue to exploit these women due to the economic advantage they have over them.