The main thing to know about the dating scene is that when it comes to apps, things change very quickly. The apps of a few years ago aren’t necessariliy the ones people are currently using. Even the way we use dating apps has tended to shift as users find they want something else from them. If tinder was seen as a hook-up app ten years ago when it launched. It’s now likely to be used for relationships….in fact most female users on the app will state that they aren’t interested in casual dating.
Such changes can be annoying. Whilst tinder seems to be the most popular dating app, it’s been challenged by Bumble and Hinge. I don’e really see much point in having either of these copycat apps, which result in the same issues of not bringing up quality matches for most men.
The sites that I have found more appealing have come about due to the increading popularity of sugar dating, effectively paid dating but with some commitment to it so that it doesn’t feel totally transactional.
The popularity of ‘Sugar dating’
As strange as it may seem, some people are happy to give money for someone to date them. With ‘Seeking Arrangement’, you can search for users who are often looking for a male to give them a fincanical support, or just a ‘pay per meet’, to use a common phrase. The common question girls ask is how much can you PPM, effectively money for them to meet you, and in most cases, sex is involved – the practical thing to do is to decline because these girls will ask for more money than an escort, and these tend to be the worst kind of girls out there.
Money CAN buy love
Now there are people who would never want to do this. The idea that you can put a price on someone and then pay them for meeting would seem to go against common-decency. Then again, frustrated with the other apps which require a match before messaging, I find the directness of the sugar dating apps very refreshing. You can message girls whom you like straight away and be clear about your terms. Then it’s on to the date, and in most cases girls want to meet with you straight away. Try to arrange a meeting somewhere fun, and make sure they don’t ask you for some ridiculous amount of money just to meet you. The women I met were happy to meet for a date without asking for money. After that, if both of you like each other, you can make an arrangement to see them. Most girls in London will ask for an allowance, but you’ll only do that if you are sure about them. It could be something like £300, such a price means that you can only realistically do this if you are very rich. And if you are, what’s to stop you! You can have your pick of some of the best women out there. With tinder, you tend to find matches close to your age. But seeking lets you search for any age, and sugar dating tends to be for younger women and older men.
A site with a similar modus operandi is What’s Your Price? The app allows you to make an offer for a first date, like placing a bid. It’s up to the girl to accept your offer, or ask for a higher price. The fun is waiting to hear back from them. The minimum bid is £5, going up to £500. Then when a bid is countered, you need to bid back at an increment of pounds. Sure, the women are likely to ask for more than you offer, but not always. You can even ask here to suggest the amount she would accept from you. You will get some outrageous requests, like women asking for £500 for a date! Fortunately, most women are more reasonable and will often accept your first offer.
What I like about it is you can offer what you are willing to pay. Most guys can easily afford 20 or 30 pounds, and the money acts as an incentive. With luck, the girl will like you enough to want to meet you the next time for free, and you can look at the initial cost as an investment in their company.
The site mentions that you only pay for the first date, and then you meet for free after that. It also doesn’t process any payments, instead making it clear that you pay them in cash, or transfer directly. Now it’s true that you could arrange to meet someone after they accept the amount and then refuse to pay. The problem is that would make you untrustworthy. The girls will expect you to pay what you offered them. It’s up to you to decide on what you think is a fair amount, and then take them on a date somewhere you know you can afford. By refusing to pay the girl the amount you offered, you have a chance that things will turn unpleasant, with the girl likely to accuse you of taking advantage of them. It will be hard for her to see you again after that, and that’s not what you want!
Where time is precious, the site allows people to find who they want with a lot less fuss and allows them to meet far sooner than if they had used the typical apps. This is the best outcome for everyone.
We’re led to believe that Asian escorts are in high demand, and difficult to find.
Actually the truth is something different. If you seek any Asian escort and aren’t worried about the quality, you can find hundreds of women who meet that description. Unfortunately, most girls listed as a ‘23 year student from Japan’ are nothing of the kind. Most of my searches have led me on a wild goose chase as my efforts to find an Asian who matches the idea I have in my head have been frustrated by the cruel reality of a ‘bait and switch’, or a catfish in modern language.
When you search with a reputable escort agency, you realise that your options are fewer. At the top of the business, escorts may charge anything up to £600 per hour. In London, such prices are not unusual, and some girls will go even higher. What you are getting is often not entirely clear, but you won’t have to spend that much for a satisfactory experience with a beautiful escort in London – usually it’s between 150 – 250 for one hour.
Haute escorts offers mostly European escorts, and seeing as it was my birthday in July, I looked through the website for someone whom I hoped could relieve my stress. As it’s the summertime, it seems that most of them are now on holiday. But after a phone call with the secretary of Haute Escorts, I was offered Erika. In actual fact, I hadn’t seen her offered on the website. When I made my initial browsing of the site, I hadn’t seen her profile listed. But since the woman I spoke to had ensured me that I would like someone petite, I felt sure that they were someone I could trust.
The details were relayed by text message and a time and location was fixed. Then we settled the price, and the agency explained that the total amount would cover the cost of the taxi to the hotel.
As I was getting closer to my appointment, I entertained ideas about my meeting with Erika. I still didn’t know her appearance…. As a rule, I like to know before I book a model. I dilly-dallied, before my curiosity led me to search for Erika, typing Erika Asian Haute escort, the search soon led me to a escorts page with a girl who matched her likeness. Soon, I was convinced that Erika was the girl I wanted to spend my time with, especially, as I was looking for someone that had the elegance and sexuality I was seeking.
For me, it’s not just enough that she is Asian. She needs to have the mindset and the personality to make the sexual encounter erotic, enjoyable, memorable. The pictures revelaed someone very busty, but with her face partially concealed. It was also hard to guage Erika’s age from the photos.. An old profile from four years ago listed her as being 24, which meant she would be in her late twenties now. She would therefore be an experienced escort, rather than a woman new to the scene. With age, you notice that some women become inured to the experience, but it’s always my hope that I can meet an escort who still finds the job pleasurable and has not become too cynical.
By Friday morning, I had re-confirmed with the agency that Erika would come to my hotel and I was just waiting to receive the room number. I should say that communications with Haute agency had been very positive and they made the experience very smooth from our first telephone call to the on-the-day meeting.
After a slight wait at the desk, I had checked in and got my room key-card from reception. I then let the agency know the number and it was a quick journey up to the room. I dumped the bags and was about to use the in-room kettle, when I heard a knock on the door. Usually, it’s a member of the hotel staff, or room service. But this time, the person standing in front of me was Erika. I had a quick look at her and led her into the room.
Erika was a lovely, pale-skinned Chinese women, possibly early thirties although no older than that.
The first thing I noticed was her extremely long hair which came below her waist. She was wearing a light summer dress with a light brown trench jacket and light brown men’s style shoes. I was caught off guard temporarily by the fact that Erika was now here with me and it was about to begin, I hadn’t even thought of what I could say to her.
I had the money prepared in an envelope and then handed her the amount requested on the website. *
By this time, Erika had shrugged off her jacket which I hung up on one of the hangers in the wardrobe. By now I could see that she was very busty and her breasts were pushing out her dress. She gave me a full-on kiss although her tongue did not come out all the way. The next thing was to put her on the bed. Without any trouble, I removed her dress and let it fall to the floor. With my free hand I caressed her silky hair and enjoyed the luxurious feeling of it. I was feeling a variety of pleasant sensations that were almost overpowering, the most significant detail was having a sensual Asian woman alone with me and fully focused on pleasing me.
After kissing some more, I asked if I could lift her up and put her on the table night stand. Erika agreed, and as she is very light, I had no trouble lifting her up onto the counter.
She was wearing a tight black corset style bustier that kept her breasts mostly concealed. I had to pull them out and get a better look at them.
As a breast-lover, I’ve seen a lot of breasts in my time. I’m aware that Asian women aren’t the most endowed in this area, and I often feel somewhat short-changed if they aren’t. What I can see is that Erika had one of the most impressive chests I have ever seen. Light cream in colour with pink arealoe, they jutted out and sat perfectly outwards, her bodice had made slight indentations where it had pressed against her tits. I pulled the bodice down but I didn’t take it off completely, putting my hands between her legs and exploring her incredible upper body, gently kissing her nipples.
Erika made light moans and I took this as a sign to move her back on to the bed. I explained that I like to be dominant, but I also like to be dominated in return. She pulled on my nipples and then sucked and bit them, whilst I pulled down on her hair and felt my way down to her lower body.
Erika is a gentle, very light girl who is here to please. Unlike some Chinese escorts, she is very graceful and polite. Hence why she is a high-class escort rather than a 60 pound an hour girl on a vivastreet ad; when you spend more money, you can really see the difference. Another rarity for an Asian SW is her English speaking ability. Erika’s high level of English denotes an educated woman who no doubt has many qualifications and could easily have a professional career on the side. I will say that her fluent English also makes it far simpler to discuss matters related to sex and there is no chance of anything being ‘lost in translation’.
She asked to see my cock and then pulled my trousers down and released it from my briefs. Despite Erika’s dazzling body, I was not fully erect (something I put down to the heat in the room more than anything else). She went straight for a blowjob, making a firm seal with her mouth until I was fully hard. She continued for a good five minutes and then she moved to find a condom which she quickly rolled on my engorged penis.
I had a close look at Erika’s vagina. It was pale, like the rest of her body, and completely shaved, not even a trace of stubble anywhere. I then placed a middle finger at the entrance of her pussy but she insisted that I only touch the outside, I was a little disappointed.
I then asked if she would mind that I suck her toes – a fetish of mine – and she agreed. I was delighted by this and I jammed her feet into her mouth – she is a size 4 so this wasn’t difficult.
With Erika moaning more, I wanted to get it in, but I wasn’t fully erect, so she sucked me off again. As I grew hard, she put a condom on and entered her, but I couldn’t get the right angle and Erika needed to guide me inside. I was slightly worried at this point as it can be very frustrating for both the woman and myself when my dick is only partially erect.
I tried to get on top of her but I was feeling too sweaty in this position. We went back to the table and I stood up behind Erika in front the mirror – I should have used it sooner! It was great to see Erika’s magnificent breasts in front of me and the reflection of her serene face. Finally, I was fully hard.
We went back on the bed and moved her legs apart for doggy-style. I plunged into her and gave her several hard thrusts. The sound of her light orgasmic moans nearly made me cum but I stopped myself and moved her on to her back. I was able to get deeper this way and listened to Erika’s feminine cries of passion. Her legs are slim enough to be placed on my shoulders, as I was about to cum, I did something I normally never do.
The cum-shot in porn is usually directed on the face or chest, and I knew it had to be on Erika’s tits. Soon, I could feel my orgasm pulsing, so I flicked off the condom and let my cum flood out over her body. The cum shot across her right breast and the sounds of Erika’s surprise made me ECSTATIC. It was much more semen than I can normally produce in a solo session, which I put down to Erika’s skills and my overall horniness at being deprived of such a woman in my life.
The main part of our time was nearly over, but I wanted to experience a massage, and Erika gave me one (although she didn’t have any oil). I would have loved a happy ending, but I was in detumescence, so I let her continue the massage and returned the favour to her, which she very much enjoyed.
I asked her a little about her personal experiences of men and how long they normally last. Perhaps I could have asked if she enjoys it, but I didn’t venture this question.
A knock on the door sent Erika under the covers, but it was room service delivering a birthday dessert.
We shared the chocolate mousse together, and the conversation moved to her work and her general life. I was and still am intrigued to learn more about Erika and what drives her to do this work. I would also enjoy learning about her intimate desires and what she enjoys doing sexually. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Erika, her delightful personality and natural warmth makes her easy to love. We talked a little about her life and whether she can have a relationship. Like everyone, this is not easy to achieve, and much harder for an escort. I am looking forward to getting to know Erika more – and on our next session I intend to do exactly that.
Date of booking: Friday, 9th July
Place: London Kensignotn Hilton.
*Erika’s price is £150 an hour. £200 for an outcall which included taxi fare. If you have an incall, you never know exactly what time the girl will be ready. There are pros and cons to both.
When you join the Hilton Honors program, you can save points which can be redeemed for future stays, it costs nothing and it won’t take long to move from a bronze to silver. I managed it in less than year.
How to have a WMAF relationship (and not be creepy)
The best thIng ABOUT WMAF relationships is that each party is trying something new – learning about each other’s respective cultures. All this can mean that it’s possible to be carried away by the sheer novelty of it.
Many WMAF couples become so enraptured with each other that they can ignore the fact that other people may not see their union in such a rosy light. The fact is, it’s not always so warmly accepted. The strength of the attraction has seen some people complain that some white men have an Asian fetish and look to sleep with as many Asian women as possible.
And unfortunately, a fair few in the west are seemingly so triggered by the sight of an Asian woman with a white guy that they assume it must be coercive and even exploitative.
The good thing is, you can avoid this happening if you abide by these rules. First, don’t be someone who only talks to girls because of their race or ethnicity. If you do this, you will find it harder to see their individuality and that also means you will be more likely to attract an Asian woman who is only attracted to your race as well.
Seek out the Asian women with similar personailities, likes and dislikes. Definitely don’t fall into the trap of thinking that ALL Asian women are going to behave in a certain way.
You don’t want to be the guy who expects Asian women to be always submissive, quiet and well-behaved.
Avoid making attempts at getting to know everything about where she comes from. That’s too eager, a mistake I made several times, and then I learned my errors. You can talk about your own culture as much as you like, but you do not need to impress upon them how knowledgeable you are about her country.
Be aware of the stereotypes so that you know how to disprove them right away. You will hear a lot of outdated ideas, live with them. People will point out that Asian women are out for money, looking for a passport. These unfortunate ideas are slowly disappearing, but you never know when you might hear them from someone who needs to be more sensitive!
Avoid making making assumptions like, ‘Asian women are supposed to be like this’ or , I thought Koreans were supposed to respect their elders’. You’ll most likely end up arguing about it. Most people only start thinking about their identity when it’s brought up, and Asian women are no different in this regard.
Show people how positive your relationship is. For example, a lot of white women take their husband’s last name. flip conventions on their ass by taking your wife’s Asian name. then people can see how much you reall love, honour and obey her.
Choose an Asian women of approximately equal attractiveness to your own. If you marry an Asian woman of much higher attractiveness, the disapproval will be so great, you’ll never live it down. So go for someone of about the same level of desirability to your own.
It can be hard to accept, but a lot of women are only interested in being your friend. Even if the issue of sex is impossible to avoid, that attractive woman who smiles at you is probably being polite or friendly.
Yet when it comes to Asian woman, we forget that not all of them want to sleep with the first white guy they meet. Yes, I’m probably guilty of that assumption sometimes. But what if you are ok with the idea of being her friend, and nothing more? Was she lying on her tinder profile when she said she was looking for friends?
Assuming that you are both on the same page and want to keep things platonic, how does it work in reality? Movies and sitcoms make it all look straightforward, don’t they?Nevertheless, I still think that it’s hard for men to just be friends with a nice woman. Men aren’t really trusted to have female friends. That goes double for men in relationships. Just imagine that a guy wants to be friends with a woman who is in a relationship with someone. It’s unlikely she will return his offer, no matter that his intentions to her are honest. Yet a woman could I ask a married man for his number, and no-one would care. Are there double standards going on here? Who knows.
The fact is, I bet a lot of men would kill to have a smart and funny female friend just to hang with and nothing more. Yet society continues to pump out the message that friendship between men and women is not achievable, and men follow suit, swallowing the myth in toto. And men can’t be just friends with a woman, whether they are in a relationship or not. Or they are simply scared, don’t want to be judged for hanging out with a woman they aren’t sleeping with. Then they realise that their friendship groups consist of the same friends they’ve had since middle school. And they wonder why they struggle to relate to women?
mean while, women get all the benefits of having men who want to sleep with them, the men who want just to be friends and love them for their company. Hence, the social life of women is that much more varied, richer, and just more interesting than that of most men.
I learned this the hard way when I tried to ask a girl out. She had made it clear that she had a boyfriend, and when she didn’t volunteer her phone number, I made do with Instagram, Needless to say, she didn’t respond to either of my messages I sent her. Yet, if she could be prepared to be open-minded, we could have a really good platonic relationship together.
Being just friends is something woman can get away with when it comes to a male friend, but it’s something which people are less accepting when it comes to men and their female friends. No matter how advanced we are, this is one rule that refuses to die.
The joys of the Asian girl on a working holiday visa in UK
Every year, some 2000 working holiday visas are granted to people aged up to 30 in some of the east Asian countries such as South Korea and Japan. The majority are here for enjoying a break from the often hectic lives they have in their own countries. Some come to learn English. Others might be here for work. The good news is that most are single and up for a good time.
But you need to know a few things so that you can make the most of the situation. A girl I met recently is on a two year working holiday in London. Sakura is in her late twenties, and she is over here to enjoy London. As well as working in the Japan Centre https://www.japancentre.com/en, Sakura also has a second job in a restaurant. Sakura* is as a good an example of the many Japanese and Korean girls who come to London.
They won’t have the best English, so bear that in mind when you come to approach them. And they will be changing jobs, moving around, perhaps doing some studying at the same time. It’s common for most girls to stay with with a ‘host’ family to help them settle in, for the first few months, and quite possibly the length of their stay. So bear that in mind too, because in these situations it’s going to be hard for you to be able turn up at the host family’s house, however much you want to have sex.
It’s good to be realistic, so that you can make things easy for both of you.Let’s say you’re lucky enough to meet a nice girl from Japan and you’re both into each other. You become a couple. Then her 2 years’ are up. You try the long distance relationship and it fails. You could have spent that time getting with all the other girls you ignored when you wanted to be with her exclusively. Sometimes, it works, and a lot of girls who have a working holiday will return, especially if she likes you a lot. But bear in mind that it could go either way.
Another thing you will find is that these women have only a very basic idea of what life in the UK is actually like, because there is not much connection with the UK and their own countries. It’s hard for girls to come here and know how to make money , when the pound is an unfamiliar quantity – also they won’t really know how much money they will need until they actually live here.
Working holiday girls are easy?
Its not as though all girls on a working holiday are sluts, but some are going to be quite open to the idea of sleeping with a foreigner. You may have a good chance if you live in a nice area of London where she’s going to want to spend time in. Notting Hill (because of the film) and Camden (no idea why), are two of the places you are guaranteed to find Asian girls. Don’t go thinking they are going to sleep with you just because you gave them directions to the mall or told them which side of the escalator to go on. They won’t make it that easy for you. Most of the girls on a working holiday are fairly serious, and may only want a relationship, if they even want anything from you at all. And if I’m being honest, I’ve wasted a lot of time taking girls out to the sights of London, when I would have preferred to have taken them to a hotel.
If you’re looking to have sex with a girl on a working holiday, go for it. Although my experience is that quite a few girls from Japan are a bit shy and it will take a long time to warm them up to the idea. Or it could be simply that they don’t find me attractive. If you are a bit awkward at talking to girls cold, you can try some dating services. Japan Cupid https://www.japancupid.com is only worth it if you pay the membership, but you can find one or two Japanese girls who are living abroad. Otherwise, you might be lucky to find a Japanese girl who somehow has decided she is going to find the love of her life on Tinderhttps://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/ta3t7o/what_is_it_with_japanese_girls_and_photos_from/
So in a nutshell, meeting an Asian girl on a working holiday can be a great opportunity if you are patient and able to deal with them wanting to do stuff you consider boring. But you risk becoming attached to the same girl for too much of your time, and most of the women on a working holiday are quite boring. So there you have it guys. here’s a video on the subject as well.
The Asian ‘girlfriend experience’ in two American movies
If we take a look at depictions of Asian women is some famous American films, we can get an idea of how certain ideas and stereotypes have gained a hold in people’s understanding of Asian women. I want to look at two American films that show relationships between a white man and an Asian woman.
Released in 1992, the film is a full length feature about two slacker types who run their own TV show from their basement. The men are typical of the audience the film was presumably aimed at. Whilst Garth has his own dream woman in the form of a blonde fantasy goddess, it’s Cassandra (Tia Carrere) who is the object of Wayne’s affection. That the actress playing Cassandra Wong is not Chinese but Hawaiian is beside the point – most of the time Hollywood will choose actresses who look only part Asian rather than look for an Asian-born actress who can speak fluent English.
Cassandra is by no means a submissive Asian woman, but it’s interesting to see how her Asian-ness is at times highlighted in the film. For example, she wears a traditional Chinese dress when meeting her father with Wayne. This is a very curious scene since it plays into the fears white men have of dating an Asian woman. Most commonly these relate to feeling inadequate, especially in the eyes of the girl’s family.
In another scene, Cassandra orders Wayne a Chinese takeaway. She’s far from an ‘easy’ woman, in fact she’s not terribly interested in Wayne until he shows that he has the ability to be successful. At the same time, Cassandra is seem to be in every way the perfect girlfriend. It doesn’t hurt that Carerre looks gorgeous in the film. She looks good in every scene, whether it’s the red lace dress she wears performing on TV, the bikini she wears in a dream montage, or the leather outfit for the video shoot. These aren’t the clothes that would normally be worn by a rock singer, even a grunge singer would wear much less revealing outfits. In case we had an idea that Asian women are submissive, the film has Cassandra executing a perfect flying kick to a drunk gig-goer who gets in her way.
The Social Network, 2010
The second example of an Asian woman girlfriend comes from the film that covers the origins of Facebook. Brenda Song plays Christy, a student at Harvard who meets Eduardo Saverin when he is at a speech given by Bill Gates. Although Christy is not the main character in the film, she makes quite an impact. The film has already explicitly mentioned Asian women as being attracted to Jewish guys, “and you don’t need an algorithm to work it out. “They’re not Jewish and they can’t dance,” says Eduardo at a party scene.
If Cassandra is in many ways the ideal Asian girlfriend, Christy is the exact opposite. Firstly, she is shown to be jealous and controlling of Eduardo to the point that she openly accuses him of being unfaithful because he hasn’t changed his relationship status from single on the website he co-created. In another scene, Mark asks Eduardo how his relationship with Christy is. ‘It’s terrible, she’s controlling and incredibly jealous. I’m scared of her.’ In the next scene, Eduardo gives his girlfriend a gift in an attempt to mollify her. Instead, she flies into a rage and then sets the scarf on fire. It’s as if the film is sending out a warning to viewers that they shouldn’t become romantically involved with Asian women, unless it’s to have fast and exciting sex in restaurant wash-rooms.
I draw these as examples because I feel that the cinema is a strong cultural indicator of society. It may not have quite the range that it did, but films are still a global force. What I’m really interested is how films shape and help us to make sense of the world. If you wanted to understand what it’s like to date an Asian woman, you could watch Wayne’s World and it would give you a good indication of what to say, the kind of things to do and just as importantly, the things you shouldn’t do.
I particularly like the way Wayne at some point in the film realizes that he may be losing Cassandra to the smarmy TV executive, so he has to work harder to get her back. In this way, the film is as positive in in it’s summation of how it is to date a sexy Asian woman. It’s mostly fantastic of course – the film shows us exactly why Wayne has such a thing for Cassandra and gives the idea that the most unconventional of men can attract their very own Asian beauty to be their girlfriend.
Sadly, there are other ideas people have about Asian women that aren’t nearly as positive. If you ask some men what they think of Asian women, they might say something along the likes of ‘Asian women are easy‘ – meaning I guess that Asian woman are easy to have sex with ( as long as you are a white male to begin with).
Unfortunately, Asian women have been portrayed as little more than sex objects and certainly no more than thinly sketched love interests for the main character. In most action films where the male visits Asia there will be a minor character who might provide some extra exoticism to the film. You can see this in franchise movies such as ‘Tokyo Drift’, or some of the Bond films set in Asian countries such as ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ and ‘You Only Live Twice’.
You do wonder why Hollywood has been so reticent when showing interracial relationships. Certainly it’s unusual even now to see films where the couple are of different nationalities. Even as international marriages become so common as to be not worth mentioning, the movies are such a long way from catching up that the movie that is closest to the reality of dating an Asian girl is still good old ‘Wayne’s World’ from 1992.
I had only been living in New Malden for a few months, the nondescript suburban neighborhood in South-west London between Wimbledon and Kingston. It’s not known by anyone outside of the area, except for one thing. It has the largest Korean community outside of Korea, and for me that was the reason why I ended up spending more than five years there.
I was living right in the middle of Korea-town – and as far I was concerned this was the best place in London to be. There may have been trendy areas outside – that were better connected to the rest of London. But what did I care? I had twenty Korean restaurants to visit – this was the closest I was going to get to Korea without moving there.
To give things some context, only two years before, Psy had smashed internet records by being the most played video on Youtube. Korean movies had already become well-known, and people were getting excited by Korean dramas. The K-pop scene had yet to become the all-conquering global power it is now, but it was getting there. But all this is just the frills, the extras on what was and is my primary reason for becoming interested in Korea.
I really started to notice the women when I moved to Korea town. The first thing I did was try to learn Korean. There’s no better way to meet a girl than attempting to speak her language. At the same time this was happening I got my first law firm job – providing personal injury support for road accident victims.
Maybe it wasn’t the best job – I was far too underpaid for the stress I got trying to meet targets- but there was one thing that made me happy to come to work each day.
Nak-young was a legal secretary who started working a month after I did. Eun Young was married and had a child. Not that that stopped me speaking to her. Nak-young was tall and slim. As far I was concerned she was the most beautiful woman in my life – she had the oval face, pale skin and full lips that are associated with Korean beauty. She was much nicer than most of the k-pop girls as well. She looked great wearing a hoodie or full evening wear. I soon started treating Nak-young as a close friend and the time we spent together was extremely precious to me.
We didn’t stop seeing each other after I left the job – she got to know me even better – as I felt that i could tell her everything about myself. i started to realise that there were two types of women as far as Asian women are concerned. There are those girls you can go out with – who may go on to be your girlfriend. Then there are those who will become your close friend, someone you can confide in, on the understanding that you will remain only friends. Even if I knew that Nak-young was never going to be more than a friend, I will say that I learned so much from my time with her.
When we went out the first time she told me about her job as an air hostess, then meeting her husband, and having a son with learning difficulties. The second time, it was her turn to talk about me – and she spent most of the time helping me find a way I could have sex with my girlfriend.
I won’t say that Nak-young was my Asian first time because she was not the first Asian woman I was intimate with ( I count our encounters as intimate based on the closeness of our thoughts). I think Nak-young was smart enough to see how much our experiences meant to me, though I’m sure they were more significant to me than her.
For the first time in my life, I felt that my life had a clear sense of purpose.. I felt there was a clear connection between the spicy heat of pickled cabbage, the green bottles of soju I drank, and Nak-young’s jet black hair, long legs and dazzling crescent moon eyes. My world was good and I loved everything in it.
Many people have said that they want an Asian girlfriend. But there are some important things to bear in mind, because it’s really easy to be caught out when you’re from too very different cultures. These things won’t be so obvious in the early stages, but I guarantee that after a while they will be – especially if you’re thinking about shacking up together. If you follow these key steps, you’re more likely to have a much smoother and easier relationship with fewer of the issues that can and do arise in many WMAF relationships (or black or Indian and Asian, whatever).
Number 1 – Be prepared to pay for everything.
It can take some getting used to, but you have to do this, if you’re used to dating only Western women. For at least the first three months, make sure that you cover the cost of the dates and anything else that comes up. Make sure you pay for any cups of coffee, movie tickets, dinners out and other things. Not fair?? But it kind of is fair. You see, Asian women expect the man to take care of them, because they will take care of you in return. You can minimise the damage to your wallet by only having relationships with straight -forward Asian women, who aren’t the type to expect VIP tables at nightclubs or front row seats to Bruno Mars. What tends to happen when you pay for everything is that she starts to take care of you in return, and that’s a wonderful thing. It’s more common for women to say that they want to split the bill when they don’t really like you – as I have found, this is because when they don’t have romantic feelings, they want to make this as clear as possible. It’s much better this way, I’m sure you’ll agree.
So what I’m saying is, make sure you never ask her to pay for stuff on dates, at least for the first month or so. This is something most Asian guys understand really well for the most part. Of course, you aren’t giving her money for clothes, bags and makeup, or you really shouldn’t be.
Number 2. When you have an argument, you need to be the first to apologise.
With western style relationships, if one of you has a fight, it’s normally the one who was in the wrong who must aplogise. But with Asians its more about the man coming to the woman first, offering to comfort her after an argument. Let’s say that you have a disagreement which results in some time apart, and you wait for her to come to you. You’re making a mistake because she will carry a lot of hurt. It’s much better for the relationship to aplogise, so that she can see that you care for her all the time.
Number 3. Take your damn shoes off!
You might be comfortable living somewhere where you leave your shoes on inside the house, but this goes counter to everything Asians believe in. It’s not worth arguing about, unless you’re Larry David or something, and you don’t want to make this into a sticking point.
Number 4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries.
The big ones for Asians seem to be Valentines Day (she gets you something) and White Day, a month later, where you return the favour. Again, I think that the quid pro quo makes it better for men. It’s not like you’re doing everything for her and getting nothing back in return. There are some more special days for couples, but most are for Koreans only.
Number 5 – Share your food.
Share your food. In fact, you should make sure that her plate is fully topped up before you see to yours (same goes for any woman you are with). You should aim to do the same thing when you go out for a drink, have a coffee, or eat something at a street-food stand. It took me a while to do this. But it’s about showing that she is important to you and making her feel treasured, and not thinking of yourself first all the time.
Number 6 – Talk about your relationship with her.
I know most men aren’t very direct with their feelings. But the best way to keep your Asian girlfriend is to remind her of your feelings whenever you can . Do it as often as you can – send texts, cards, whatever. You can see how important this is from the app Between, which was developed in South Korea. They actually developed it so that couples could have a private space to share all of their memories and words of affection. I’m not suggesting you go that far. But many men have said that Asian women like to text on average several times a day. Don’t date an Asian women if that seems too high.
Number 7 – Show an interest in her family.
She will want you to know about her family early on. And whilst you might not think that this is important, you need to show an interest. Once you do this, you’ll find yourself being warmly embraced, at least in most cases (I have heard some stories where her family are hostile but this is more likely the elders, who are dying off anyway, taking their prejudices with them). When she talks to you about her family, it’s her way of showing you that she wants to get close to you and that she wants you to be a part of her life. Some men might find this hard to get used to, but it’s normal for most Asian women to be very close to their family.
These are just guidelines from what I’ve observed. It’s really interesting when you realise how embedded people are to their culture. It goes for Asian women bought up in Western countries too. Don’t think that she is going to ignore all of her culture just because she has grown up in a different system. and if you are planning to stay with an Asian woman for a long time, or even marry one, there are more things to consider, but I’m not qualified to give an opinion just yet.
One of the things that annoys me by the glib term ‘yellow fever’ is that it only looks at one side of the equation. If you’re a white guy and you prefer to date women of a particular country, for example, China, you might feel a level of stigma for doing so. Maybe you prefer Asian women because of their interesting personalities. Or you like their unique dress sense. It could be that you have a unique feeling when you spend time with them that you never have when you are with women of other nationalities. Like creatures of habit, we Asian fanciers know from experience that we want to be with the yellow women, and it’s going to take a lot more than the disaproval of a bunch of angry man-hating liberals to make change our ways.
It is a bit rich to criticise men for favouring ‘eastern’ women, when those women profess an equally strong preference for men of Caucasian race. Another oft-mentioned claim is that white men exploit Asian women who they consider an easy target. This is not only a gross oversimplification, but it ignores something far more noticeable. The lack of desirability of many white women, along with their ridiculous levels of expectation, means that most white guys don’t stand a chance with women of their own race. If you were constantly ridiculed by women growing up, and seen as a loser by women in your surroundings, how are you able to form healthy relationships with the opposite sex? Its because men who move to Asian countries experience such a positive response from the women there that they begin to see themselves in a new light, and finally have the confidence to start approaching women in a natural and healthy way. It’s this new-found confidence that gives men the ability to start trading up – giving them the opportunity to meet girls considered out of their league back home.
Game playing If you’ve ever been on a date with someone whom you met through a datingapplication, be it tinder or similar, you probably faced a whole load of questions about things. Should you pay for the first date? Do you kiss her? Where do you go? Should it be somewhere expensive, or just a causal place? The problem is, no-one knows the answer. It’s why dating has become so much harder, especially now that women want to be seen as equals, whilst still clinging to the idea that men should pay for everything. The other thing you hear is that men dating white women have to jump through so many hoops, prompting one internet writer to declare that the real reason whitewomen are against men dating Asian women – they don’t want other men to see how easy it is when there are no games to play and you don’t need to go to great lengths to win her approval.
Stereotypes You hear so much about white men and Asian women, but what about the reversal? If you’re a woman who likes Korean or Japanese culture, you’re probably equally interested in men of the culture. Surely all the fans screaming at BTS aren’t just excited about the music? Yet, nobody has suggested that these women are racially stereotyping these men.
Why I prefer Asian women
Not that I’m some kind of pervert or anything, but I do happen to believe that Asian women have the nicest bodies of women anywhere. I have tried women all over the world, so it’s not like I’m an experienced loser who likes Asian women because those are the only women he has been with.
Do Western women even want to dress nice and make an effort? Lets face it, they never wear the clothes and accessories that men like. If they wore some nice skirts with tights and heels, wore make up an went to the gym, I might have a scintilla of interest. As it is, they way they dress makes me want to cover my eyes in shock.
You can bet I was swiping right on all of these. A fair few girls still like to wear denim cuttoffs, and why not? As I said, it’s all about looking as good as you possibly can. True, these aren’t the youngest women, but with my age fast approaching 40, there’s not too much I can do about that. Sometimes I think about settling down ( I will, eventually). But at the moment, I’m having so much fun getting to know these wonderful women. London has more Asian women than I will ever be able to date and I have no intention of ever stopping. All I can say is they have changed my life and they have changed it for the better.