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dating

Sugar Dating

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Compensated dating; is it for you?

Seeking is the most popular ‘sugar dating’ site

Changes to user habits

The main thing to know about the dating scene is that when it comes to apps, things change very quickly. The apps of a few years ago aren’t necessariliy the ones people are currently using. Even the way we use dating apps has tended to shift as users find they want something else from them. If tinder was seen as a hook-up app ten years ago when it launched. It’s now likely to be used for relationships….in fact most female users on the app will state that they aren’t interested in casual dating. 

Such changes can be annoying. Whilst tinder seems to be the most popular dating app, it’s been challenged by Bumble and Hinge. I don’e really see much point in having either of these copycat apps, which result in the same issues of not bringing up quality matches for most men. 

The sites that I have found more appealing have come about due to the increading popularity of sugar dating, effectively paid dating but with some commitment to it so that it doesn’t feel totally transactional.

The popularity of ‘Sugar dating’

As strange as it may seem, some people are happy to give money for someone to date them. With ‘Seeking Arrangement’, you can search for users who are often looking for a male to give them a fincanical support, or just  a ‘pay per meet’, to use a common phrase. The common question girls ask is how much can you PPM, effectively money for them to meet you, and in most cases, sex is involved – the practical thing to do is to decline because these girls will ask for more money than an escort, and these tend to be the worst kind of girls out there.

The landing page of Seeking doesn’t mention paid dating, but it’s at the core of i’s users’ activity.

Money CAN buy love

Now there are people who would never want to do this. The idea that you can put a price on someone and then pay them for meeting would seem to go against common-decency. Then again, frustrated with the other apps which require a match before messaging, I find the directness of the sugar dating apps very refreshing. You can message girls whom you like straight away and be clear about your terms. Then it’s on to the date, and in most cases girls want to meet with you straight away. Try to arrange a meeting somewhere fun, and make sure they don’t ask you for some ridiculous amount of money just to meet you. The women I met were happy to meet for a date without asking for money. After that, if both of you like each other, you can make an arrangement to see them. Most girls in London will ask for an allowance, but you’ll only do that if you are sure about them. It could be something like £300, such a price means that you can only realistically do this if you are very rich. And if you are, what’s to stop you! You can have your pick of some of the best women out there. With tinder, you tend to find matches close to your age. But seeking lets you search for any age, and sugar dating tends to be for younger women and older men. 

A site with a similar modus operandi is What’s Your Price? The app allows you to make an offer for a first date, like placing a bid. It’s up to the girl to accept your offer, or ask for a higher price. The fun is waiting to hear back from them. The minimum bid is £5, going up to £500. Then when a bid is countered, you need to bid back at an increment of pounds. Sure, the women are likely to ask for more than you offer, but not always. You can even ask here to suggest the amount she would accept from you. You will get some outrageous requests, like women asking for £500 for a date! Fortunately, most women are more reasonable and will often accept your first offer. 

What I like about it is you can offer what you are willing to pay. Most guys can easily afford 20 or 30 pounds, and the money acts as an incentive. With luck, the girl will like you enough to want to meet you the next time for free, and you can look at the initial cost as an investment in their company. 

Girls can send requests for offers, and it’s up to you to accept or counter.

The site mentions that you only pay for the first date, and then you meet for free after that. It also doesn’t process any payments, instead making it clear that you pay them in cash, or transfer directly. Now it’s true that you could arrange to meet someone after they accept the amount and then refuse to pay. The problem is that would make you untrustworthy. The girls will expect you to pay what you offered them. It’s up to you to decide on what you think is a fair amount, and then take them on a date somewhere you know you can afford. By refusing to pay the girl the amount you offered, you have a chance that things will turn unpleasant, with the girl likely to accuse you of taking advantage of them. It will be hard for her to see you again after that, and that’s not what you want!

Where time is precious, the site allows people to find who they want with a lot less fuss and allows them to meet far sooner than if they had used the typical apps. This is the best outcome for everyone.

dating

WMAF

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How to have a WMAF relationship (and not be creepy)

The best thIng ABOUT WMAF relationships is that each party is trying something new – learning about each other’s respective cultures. All this can mean that it’s possible to be carried away by the  sheer novelty of it. 

Many WMAF couples become so enraptured with each other that they can ignore the fact that other people may not see their union in such a rosy light. The fact is, it’s not always so warmly accepted. The strength of the attraction has seen some people complain that some white men have an Asian fetish and look to sleep with as many Asian women as possible. 

And unfortunately, a fair few in the west are seemingly so triggered by the sight of an Asian woman with a white guy that they assume it must be coercive and even exploitative. 

The good thing is, you can avoid this happening if you abide by these rules. First, don’t be someone who only talks to girls because of their race or ethnicity. If you do this, you will find it harder to see their individuality and that also means you will be more likely to attract an Asian woman who is only attracted to your race as well. 

Seek out the Asian women with similar personailities, likes and dislikes. Definitely don’t fall into the trap of thinking that ALL Asian women are going to behave in a certain way. 

You don’t want to be the guy who expects Asian women to be always submissive, quiet and well-behaved. 

Avoid making attempts at getting to know everything about where she comes from. That’s too eager, a mistake I made several times, and then I learned my errors. You can talk about your own culture as much as you like, but you do not need to impress upon them how knowledgeable you are about her country.

Be aware of the stereotypes so that you know how to disprove them right away. You will hear a lot of outdated ideas, live with them. People will point out that Asian women are out for money, looking for a passport. These unfortunate ideas are slowly disappearing, but you never know when you might hear them from someone who needs to be more sensitive!

Avoid making making assumptions like, ‘Asian women are supposed to be like this’ or , I thought Koreans were supposed to respect their elders’. You’ll most likely end up arguing about it. Most people only start thinking about their identity when it’s brought up, and Asian women are no different in this regard. 

Show people how positive your relationship is. For example, a lot of white women take their  husband’s last name. flip conventions  on their ass by taking your wife’s Asian name. then people can see how much you reall love, honour and obey her. 

Choose an Asian women of approximately equal attractiveness to your own. If you marry an Asian woman of much higher attractiveness, the disapproval will be so great, you’ll never live it down. So go for someone of about the same level of desirability to your own. 

There, I think I just about covered everything.

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British Women the ugliest in the world?

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A dating coach famously announced that he didn’t consider British Women to be worth dating, based mainly on their looks and attitudes. His name is Richard Ruina, although for the purposes of this article it doesn’t really matter.

On the other hand, a number of people (British, it must be said) leapt to their defence, calling the guru a dick, asshole, and misogynist. I don’t have the right to criticise anyone, least of all when it comes to appearances. But I can see how some might consider women who are overweight, sport tattoos, and are badly dressed, as being unattractive.

So what’s the truth of the matter? The fact is, there are some stunners (at the top end) and a lot of average women in between, and then the ‘mingers’ (british slang for unattractive) making up a large group at the bottom.

Women on a night out in Liverpool, a city in the north of England.

It’s the last group that are responsible for the low opinion held for British women in the UK. The women seen on holidays in Spain and Greece, for example, acting like hooligans or ‘ladettes’ according to some British tabloids. The majority of British women are not like this at all. In fact, there is a rich phenotype made up of mixed races in many English women, which is why you will find it quite difficult to identify a British woman from women from other countries in Europe.

Still, if you’re a man from England, you’ll probably have some complaints about British women being cold, too demanding, difficult to please. As a result, you’ll probably enjoy dating women from other countries who visit here. And that doesn’t mean you think British women are ugly, just that it’s good to have some new experiences.

dating, Personal

The truth about ‘yellow fever’

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One of the things that annoys me by the glib term ‘yellow fever’ is that it only looks at one side of the equation. If you’re a white guy and you prefer to date women of a particular country, for example, China, you might feel a level of stigma for doing so. Maybe you prefer Asian women because of their interesting personalities. Or you like their unique dress sense. It could be that you have a unique feeling when you spend time with them that you never have when you are with women of other nationalities. Like creatures of habit, we Asian fanciers know from experience that we want to be with the yellow women, and it’s going to take a lot more than the disaproval of a bunch of angry man-hating liberals to make change our ways.

Yellow fever

It is a bit rich to criticise men for favouring ‘eastern’ women, when those women profess an equally strong preference for men of Caucasian race.
Another oft-mentioned claim is that white men exploit Asian women who they consider an easy target. This is not only a gross oversimplification, but it ignores something far more noticeable. The lack of desirability of many white women, along with their ridiculous levels of expectation, means that most white guys don’t stand a chance with women of their own race. If you were constantly ridiculed by women growing up, and seen as a loser by women in your surroundings, how are you able to form healthy relationships with the opposite sex? Its because men who move to Asian countries experience such a positive response from the
women there that they begin to see themselves in a new light, and finally have the confidence to start approaching women in a natural and healthy way. It’s this new-found confidence that gives men the ability to start trading up – giving them the opportunity to meet girls considered out of their league back home.


Game playing
If you’ve ever been on a date with someone whom you met through a datingapplication, be it tinder or similar, you probably faced a whole load of questions about things. Should you pay for the first date? Do you kiss her? Where do you go? Should it be somewhere expensive, or just a causal place? The problem is, no-one knows the answer. It’s why dating has become so much harder, especially now that women want to be seen as equals, whilst still clinging to the idea that men should pay for everything.
The other thing you hear is that men dating white women have to jump through so many hoops, prompting one internet writer to declare that the real reason whitewomen are against men dating Asian women – they don’t want other men to see how easy it is when there are no games to play and you don’t need to go to great lengths to win her approval.


Stereotypes
You hear so much about white men and Asian women, but what about the
reversal? If you’re a woman who likes Korean or Japanese culture, you’re
probably equally interested in men of the culture. Surely all the fans screaming at BTS aren’t just excited about the music? Yet, nobody has suggested that these women are racially stereotyping these men.

Why I prefer Asian women

Not that I’m some kind of pervert or anything, but I do happen to believe that Asian women have the nicest bodies of women anywhere. I have tried women all over the world, so it’s not like I’m an experienced loser who likes Asian women because those are the only women he has been with.

Ho says in her bio that she wants a man to take care of her. I’m crazy about flight attendants and would do anything to be with one.

Do Western women even want to dress nice and make an effort? Lets face it, they never wear the clothes and accessories that men like. If they wore some nice skirts with tights and heels, wore make up an went to the gym, I might have a scintilla of interest. As it is, they way they dress makes me want to cover my eyes in shock.

I’m chatting to Luna (who is Chinese) on weChat. She messages everyday, and always takes in interest in what I am doing.

You can bet I was swiping right on all of these. A fair few girls still like to wear denim cuttoffs, and why not? As I said, it’s all about looking as good as you possibly can. True, these aren’t the youngest women, but with my age fast approaching 40, there’s not too much I can do about that. Sometimes I think about settling down ( I will, eventually). But at the moment, I’m having so much fun getting to know these wonderful women. London has more Asian women than I will ever be able to date and I have no intention of ever stopping. All I can say is they have changed my life and they have changed it for the better.

dating, sex

New Year’s Lay

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New Year’e eve, 520 pm.

It’s new Year’s Eve, and, as on so many lonely nights, my thoughts turn to women, and with them, sex as well. There’s not much to do when you’re alone but imagine them and hope that somehow they will hear your lonely and horny heart crying out for them.

I have a whole database of porn that I could revert to on this occasion, and get it on. But the idea of sitting at home, unwashed and improperly dressed, doing something unspeakable in front of Invasian 3 seems insulting to this day. New Year’s Eve is the time to be out there in the thick of it. Meeting people, rubbing shoulders (at the very least) with beautiful strangers. When so many people are still putting their faith in the holiday season, who am I to show my disdain by staying in alone and touching myself?

There are plenty of apps designed to get men and women together as quickly as possible, and to the bedroom eventually. But I don’t have much time, as such a last minute guy as I am. I also didn’t make any plans for tonight. I want to be social, but not with the few friends I have. Tonight, I want to feel the thrill of a random encounter with a stranger.

Until the day comes when, like in Logan’s Run where Jenny Agutter materialises in front of Michael York at the press of a button, I must find women the old-fashioned way, using the internet to find sex partners. There are plenty of sites I have visited, and the one that best meets my needs is called ‘Easy Lay.’ I flip open my laptop and type my desired woman into the search bar. “Asian female, 20, slim, busty.” A few results come up, and I message one of them who looks like she can accommodate me.

What are you doing tonight? Want to have some fun?

she messages back right away.

I’m not doing anything. Do you want to come over?

I don’t need any persuading.

Give me thirty minutes, I say.

The thing is, when a girl is horny, you have to react quickly. It’s no good waiting around or she might lose interest.

…………thirty minutes later………………………………..

I’m standing in front of the door at the address where she lives. The thought does occur to me that she could be anyone. I guess she might be wondering the same thing about me.

The door slowly opens. I stand there for just a few seconds. I step inside. I’m relieved when I see that she looks just like her photo on the site.

She’s wearing a tight black dress and no stockings, her hair is down and she has on some bright red lipstick.

‘Won’t you come in?’

I’m momentarily dazzled by her beauty but I manage to stammer ‘Yes of course.’

‘You took a long time’.

I came on the tube, I say, by way of explanation.

She leads me down the corridor in to a large, open kitchen space.

‘Will you have something to drink?’

‘I’d like whisky if you have it.’

She pours out a large serving of single malt and sits it in front of me.

I take a look around the place. It’s clean, everything is new and hardly looks lived in at all.

‘Is it just you living here?’

‘It’s just me. Sometimes my friend comes to stay, the rest of the time, I’m the only one here.’

I take a sip of my whisky.

‘Aren’t you bored sometimes? Aren’t you terribly bored?’

She laughs.

‘Not really.’

I walk up to her lift her hands up. She moves towards me and I push my face towards hers. There is not one bit of resistance and I take the opportunity to kiss her.

Her lips are sticky – sweet from the lipgloss. I move past them with my tongue and I make gentle movements inside her mouth. I pull her up and we carry on kissing.

‘How did you like it? ‘

‘Mmm, pretty good.’

‘Oh, only good.’

‘Well, you could have used more force.’

‘Oh really? Ok, I will remember that.’

I let the whisky carry on its effect.

‘Do you like to watch porn?

‘I love porn. I watch it all the time.’

‘That’s good.’

‘I get most of my best moves from it.’

Her eyes open slighlty wider as she takes this in.

‘Do you like licking pussy?’

‘Yes. I do it all the time.’

‘Can you come a lot or just once?’

‘I usually come only once, unless we have sex for a long time.’

‘Hmmm. How long do you last for?’

‘I can last for at least thirty minutes.’ No lie, I really can.

She opens her legs under the table and i get a decent glimpse of thigh.

So, what porn have you been watching?

‘A lot of older women porn.’

‘Yes?’

‘So there are a lot of older women in porn. I don’t mean milfs exactly. i’m talking about older women who just decided to have sex on video because it’s always been a fantasy of theirs.’

‘Mmm, I get it. Is it hot?

‘It can be very hot. They are real women, amateurs. That’s the point. Some might have had some surgery, but most are natural. You can see their lines, blemishes and wrinkles. I’m not so interested in perfect-looking people.’

‘I’m interested.’

‘It’s great. the guy interviews the woman for ten minutes, asking her about her experiences. That’s often the hottest part. And when they are having sex, the guy doesn’t disrespect the woman or slap her around, he just has sex with her in the most erotic way possible.’

‘You’re making me hot.’

‘Ha ha.’

‘What do you want to do to me?’

‘I want to come on your face, I want to see it there on your chin, setting like a glaze.’

‘Wow.’

‘And then I want to watch as another girl slowly kisses you and licks it off.’

‘Oh that would be hot. But we don’t have another girl here, you’ll need to make do with me.’

‘I won’t be able to do anything, but watching the two of you, I can get hard again. What do you like in porn?’

the cumshot is hot. I like to see a man cum on a woman.’

‘How does it feel when he does it on you?’

‘She kicks her legs up and positions them on my lap.’

‘It’s fucking hot. I don’t mind where he does it. It just feels so good when it shoots out. Where do you like to do it?’

‘I like to cum on her stomach or her breasts, and watch it roll down her body.’

‘Men can’t come so much as women, can they?’

‘No we can’t. We need to work hard and then it’s just a small amount that comes out.’

I wonder what it feels like? When you orgasm?

‘It’s quite sudden. Everything feels tight, and then it’s loose, and you get a wonderful sensation as you start to orgasm. How is it for women?’

‘It’s a little different for women. We take longer to warm up. Our bodies start to tingle and we get wet. It’s like a light that gets brighter and warmer inside us.’

Are you feeling it now?

‘I’m feeling hot. Hearing you talk about coming on me made me hot inside. I want to feel you inside me.’

‘I’m feeling horny too.’

‘Is it so hard?’

It’s getting hard.

She stands up and comes over to me.

‘let me touch it.’

She puts her hand over me and holds it firmly.

I can get bigger if you suck me. Today I watched a totally awesome young Vietnamese woman take a guy’s balls in her mouth as she used her hand to get him hard. Will you do that for me?

‘I’ll try my best.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Have you had enough to drink?’

I look at the empty glass.’

‘We better get going, it’s nearly midnight and you haven’t fucked me yet.’

‘You’re right. Happy New Year!’

dating, sex

China Love Cupid – dating site review

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If you’re like me and you love Asian girls, you’ll want to do everything you can to meet as many of them as you can. When it comes to meeting girls abroad, you need to check out the dating sites. About the biggest one in terms of members is the lovecupid site. Signing up to make a profile is really easy. They break things down into categories where you can list your age, ethnicity and background. Then you can go into more detail, and do the same for the kind of things you are looking for in your partner. What I like about this site is it’s so straightforward. You can search girls based on certain parameters. Not only that, but the ‘online chat’ allows you to find girls who are online and available to chat.

Sign up cost

Like any dating site that you will want to join, you need to pay a membership fee to be able to access the benefits of the website. China Lovecupid charges a monthly fee for access to most of the features. You’ll need to pay this to send messages and reply to girls who message you. Premium membership is currently £11.00 a month, billed in one payment of £131 a year. I opted for the standard membership which is a little cheaper.

The girls

So once you’ve signed up, you want to get to know the girls. For me, China Cupid has the most girls of the various sites in the LoveCupid dating media. Not surprising really, as China is massive. Girls are eager to get chatting right away, and here it pays to be a white man from England or USA. The girls on here are 90% really good, with a few probable fakes. looks play a big part for a lot of women who are open about their wish to marry and start a family. Quite a few of the photos look very staged, with a lot of editing clearly having been done. That said, once you get to know them, ask them to show you some more recent photos of themselves.

Messaging

You can send messages on tinder and OkCupid and get no reply, but here women respond straight away.

I had several message me upfront. Often, they will send fairly generic messages along the lines of ‘I would like to get to know you more’. But you can soon move things forward, and after a few messages, you will need to get their WeChat to make things more intimate. Don’y be surprised if the girls start messaging you often, asking how you are, sending photos of themselves. It’s a reminder of how different the dating culture is in Asia. Another thing you will find is just how many women using the site are divorced, even the younger ones. The stigma against divorced women is where it really pays to sign up. Whereas most men in China won’t touch a married woman, I like to feel that westerners are more open-minded. Most women have been very open about why they are looking for western men.

For me, I have at times struggled to focus, because of the sheer volume of women. But you can narrow things down so that you focus on women from a particular region. I have found that women from Gangzhou province are particularly warm, friendly, and sexy. On the other hand, women in Shanghai and Beijing seem slightly more aloof and more difficult to impress.

Verdict.

Any site has to be judged on the quality of its members. ChinaCupid really delivers. The youngest girls I’ve chatted to are 19, going up to 70. I’ve chatted to a few milfs, still looking good in their fifties. On the whole, I have had the most success with women in their mid twenties to early thirties. Most of the women have enough English to send messages and a few will ask for video chat too. You’ll want to join this site if you are planning a trip to China. Which is exactly what I will be doing next year.

sex

Yuka

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Nationality: Japanese

Yuka is one of the biggest girls I have ever been with. She would be big for a white girl but being Japanese she is positively huge. I don’t know her dress size, but probably a size 16 by English standards. We met online, where she was able to hide some of her weight by filtering and careful editing.

When I met her I was pretty unimpressed. She seemed fairly dull and un-engaging. But I soon realised that this was typical Japanese modesty and she was only acting like that because we were in a public place. We had some lunch and she took me to a karaoke bar. The best thing about these places is you can be alone with someone and get up to the kind of activity that is not possible in public places. First we started kissing, then I sat her on top facing towards me. It was a job to balance her weight but I just about managed it. Yuka was moaning that she was feeling really horny and I took things further by unbuttoning her top to reveal her incredible breasts. I played with them over the bra without revealing them fully. I wanted to save that for later. She was relishing all the attention her body was getting. Maybe it had been a long time since anybody had touched her like that? We left the karaoke room before we went any further.

The next day, Yuka met me at my hotel; we went there just as the room was available at 3pm. I wasted no time in getting Yuka on the bed and I started taking off her clothes. Yuka’s flesh around her stomach was a little off-putting so I mainly avoided this area. Instead, I set my sights on her massive tits. With Yuka on top, I had the best opportunity for some breast play. They weren’t too saggy and I let them jiggle as Yuka started to grind on top of me. Occasionally I positioned my head directly in front of them; getting the up close experience was kind of mesmerizing. Yuka was moaning and telling me she would do whatever I told her. I didn’t want to suggest anything too wild at this stage so I thought it was best to get her on some oral. She knelt in front of me and gave me some good sucking action. Her mouth was big enough for her to get her lips around my cock and get a nice rhythm going. I wanted to see Yuka play with herself while I watched. I told her to touch herself, and she stopped sucking me off. I watched as she started to rub her pussy with her left hand, and used her right to touch her breasts. This went on a few minutes; Yuka really knew how to get herself turned on.

I pulled Yuka down and gave her a deep kiss and I started to touch her pussy. She was ready for sex. Her pussy was wet enough for me to slide in with no problems. She was really a little loose compared to a lot of Asian girls. I banged her for quite some time – maybe ten minutes. It was easy for me to lie on top of her and enjoy her incredible breasts pressing into me. After we finished we slept on top of each other, and then we got up to shower together. I got hard as we were in there naked and I enjoyed letting Yuka scrub me down as I rubbed soap all over her breasts.

We met a few days later, and this time I was much more prepared and I knew her body much better. I was much more forceful this time. I threw her down on the bed and kissed her roughly. Again I played with her breasts, and this time, I spread her ass a bit as she was fucking me on top. I could feel how wet she was as I thrust in and out. This time we didn’t bother to use a condom. Using the bed-stand for support, I propped Yuka upright. I have always wanted to titty-fuck but I have never found a woman able to do it. Yuka looked confused initially but as I knelt in front of her she understood what was going on. With my cock positioned in her cleavage, Yuka was squeezing her breasts together and moving them up and down. With her head looking down, my cock was almost touching her chin, and Yuka was doing a great job. Yuka’s breasts were so big, i could hardly see my cock and I started to cum. It was awesome watching the semen shoot out of her breasts and Yuka blinked as some of it caught her in the eye. She was a little annoyed that she had to wash her hair again before we went out.

I’m hoping to see Yuka again. She is a very uninhibited girl with a high sex drive and by the sounds of things she is up for anything. She can play submissive very well and would love a strong man to tell her what to do. I soon forgot that she was overweight when I was sleeping with her. She has a lot of energy and her curves add to the excitement. If I see her again , I will definitely take some photos and perhaps make a recording of our time together. My mind is going crazy just thinking about it…….

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Leftover women

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China is in the news for many reasons. There is the on-going trade war with the United States….. The persecution of the Uighur minority. The country continues its dizzying rise to modernity, with cities being completely redesigned in a few years.

One interesting social phenomenon that has recently been documented is the rise of the ‘leftover woman,’ (Sheng nu). This derogatory phrase refers to a woman over 26 (or thereabouts), who is not married or in a relationship. From the point of view of the labeller, its not a positive term, and it’s unlikely that any woman would want to refer herself as such. Nevertheless, with more and more young women in China choosing to delay or in some cases avoid marriage completely, many young women are so scared of being given the classification that they are doing whatever they can to find a husband.

Marriage markets are popping up in towns across the country. Here, parents display photographs and mini biographies of their daughters in the hope of attracting potential partners. And on dates, where women are trained to act as demurely as possible, they are advised to not assert themselves in any way or mention their careers.

A weekly marriage market in Shanghai

Who might be considered ‘leftover’?

In theory, any woman above a certain age without prospects could be considered a leftover woman. However, it’s typically used to denigrate women who choose to ignore Chinese culture and tradition that says they should marry and start a family as soon as possible.

Any woman over 26 faces great social and familial pressure to look for a husband.

What are the reasons for the leftover women?

China’s growing middle class are increasingly well-educated; often much more so than their parents. They study more, often overseas. The one-child policy introduced in 1980, meant that women born in this period are considered by the older generation to be the most spoiled in history. Yet they are also perhaps the most fortunate, being born at a time of greater prosperity and fortune than their parents and grandparents. Women who grew up without siblings (even though parents typically preferred a son) had more of their parent’s attention and were able to enjoy a better education going further than what would normally be available to women in families with sons. As a result, many of today’s young women are focusing on their careers, choosing to provide for themselves and get ahead.

Lack of suitors

The men in China are sometimes unfairly depicted in American cinema as unreliable, addicted to gambling and alcohol. Whether this is the reality, there must be a reason why Chinese women are choosing not to marry. Whilst 28 is hardly considered old for women in Western countries, it’s different in China. Many men want somebody younger than them, which explains why so many Chinese women are marrying abroad. It is also worth noting that women are often so much more educated that men cannot accept the prospect of being married to someone more successful than they are.

“Leftover women” seems to be a handy term to describe a problem that isn’t really a problem at all. The emergence of women with greater economic independence and education is of great advantage to China, especially when women become successful internationally. The population of China has stayed steady and  -even though the one-child policy has been rescinded – families are having smaller families anyway, reducing the poverty and the starvation of the Cultural Revolution.

Women

With 15 million more men than women in China, there are is a shortage of brides. It’s strange that it’s the men who are often being left behind, – by a rapidly modern society – but women are the ones being labelled as ‘leftover’.

Hint of misogyny?

To some, the term “leftover woman” is an attempt to stigmata a certain segment of women who are using more freedom that is now available to them, exactly the freedom that men have always had available to them as a matter of course. And more to the point, people aren’t happy that women are no longer happy to just stay at home and look after children. At the heart of the issue is there are women in China, a country considered at the other side of the world geographically and politically, who are closer to women in the west than those in small villages only a few hundred miles away.

Korean Culture, Personal, Restaurants, Travel

Ten things I hate about South Korea.

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In no particular order:

Bars and restaurants

One of the worst things is going to restaurants and bars on your own. Koreans have a hatred of doing things on their own. Don’t expect to be welcomed by other Koreans when you go to restaurants as a foreigner, they will completely avoid any interaction with you. Although I enjoy eating Korean food, the pressure of sitting in a restaurant being glowered at is too much sometimes. The bottom line: Korea can be very lonely place for a single person.

Korean language

Aaahh, the Korean language. When I was England I was serious about studying Korean. I took lessons, went on language exchanges and used apps to improve my Korean. THe worst thing is when you have a conversation in Korean and people ignore you, or laugh, or answer you in English. I have learned very little Korean here and I am convinced my Korean is going backwards.

Dating

Wow, is dating hard work here. Its not that dating is unpleasant, it’s mroe the attitude Korean women have towards dating foreigners. For example, a common excuse is “I can’t speak English so I won’t date anyone who isn’t Korean.” It’s hard to approach someone and simply ask them out, at least, in my experience.

Traditional culture

I visited the Korean palace in Seoul. Apart from a nice garden and a pond, there was little else to see. As for traditional culture, Korean’s traditional music, pansoori consists of a drum being banged loudly for half an hour whilst a woman makes a noise like she is being slowly impaled. Apart from concerts and Koreans wearing Hanbok, I see very little signs of traditional culture here. At least in Japan you can easily see kimonos and visit traditional restaurants.

K-pop

When people talk about Korean Wave, Hallyu, it’s K-pop that often comes up. Now, I like K-pop. I think some of it has been good fun. What I don’t like is that for most people K-pop is the only music they will hear in Korea. There are some great rock and Indie bands but due to the large record companies that produce and distribute music its very difficult to hear anything but the Melon 100.

Work

Korea has the most miserable work culture in the world. But at least Koreans can talk to each other and share food at work. As a foreigner, I feel excluded from most work activities. For some reason, it doesn’t occur to my colleagues to ask me any questions about my life or pay any interest in what I am doing, or invite me to lunch. Although many Koreans teach English, they would much rather talk to their colleagues in Korean than speak English to me.

Old people

Encountering old people is one of the hardest aspects of life here. For example, there are seats marked for use for the elderly, one of the many areas where old people have privileges over everyone else. It’s quite common for older Koreans to take up every seat in a carriage while young people who have been working all day must stand.  Korea has a real problem with age. There are places where you won’t see anyone under thirty. At other times, you can visit an outside market and it will be mostly be seniors. It’s hard to reconcile the behaviours of older Koreans with younger people. It’s a problem that is going to get worse as Korea has the lowest birth rate in the world.

Clothes and fashion

I try not to buy many clothes here. It’s hard to find clothes of very good quality. Unfortunately Koreans have a mania for new things. It’s not socially acceptable to wear old clothes here. everything has to be brand new and up-to-the minute. I can’t deny that Koreans are well-dressed, stylish people, but the desire to follow the latest fashions seems exhausting.

TV

This is certainly the least serious problem because there’s always the option of simply turning the TV off. There are typically three types of popular shows here:

1: Lifestyle and travel shows. A group of foreign tourists visit Korea and try kimchi, wear hanbok, etc. I can’t watch without cringing, but there are at least five programmes I can see which follow this theme.

2. Wacky and zany variety programs, the most popular is Running Man. They sometimes feature famous Americans such as Tom Cruise and Steven Youn.

In the last category are dramas. The good ones are ‘The Good Wife”, “The Return” and “Mr Sunshine.” There are also Korean soap operas which usually revolve around family relationships. A very common trope is a mother-in-law who criticises her daughter for not being a good wife, or making bad food or something. These are the least interesting programs on TV. There are several news programs which seem to be exclusively focused on domestic news. Which brings me to…….

Attitude to foreigners 

As many have pointed out, Koreans have a strange attitude. On the one hand, I think they want foreigners to know about Korean culture. I see that they have a lot of information about Korean attractions on line. On the other hand, a foreigner could easily come to the conclusion that Koreans don’t want to have any interaction with foreigners unless it involves money. Come on Koreans, you can do better!