Tag Archives: korean

WMAF

How to have a WMAF relationship (and not be creepy)

The best thIng ABOUT WMAF relationships is that each party is trying something new – learning about each other’s respective cultures. All this can mean that it’s possible to be carried away by the  sheer novelty of it. 

Many WMAF couples become so enraptured with each other that they can ignore the fact that other people may not see their union in such a rosy light. The fact is, it’s not always so warmly accepted. The strength of the attraction has seen some people complain that some white men have an Asian fetish and look to sleep with as many Asian women as possible. 

And unfortunately, a fair few in the west are seemingly so triggered by the sight of an Asian woman with a white guy that they assume it must be coercive and even exploitative. 

The good thing is, you can avoid this happening if you abide by these rules. First, don’t be someone who only talks to girls because of their race or ethnicity. If you do this, you will find it harder to see their individuality and that also means you will be more likely to attract an Asian woman who is only attracted to your race as well. 

Seek out the Asian women with similar personailities, likes and dislikes. Definitely don’t fall into the trap of thinking that ALL Asian women are going to behave in a certain way. 

You don’t want to be the guy who expects Asian women to be always submissive, quiet and well-behaved. 

Avoid making attempts at getting to know everything about where she comes from. That’s too eager, a mistake I made several times, and then I learned my errors. You can talk about your own culture as much as you like, but you do not need to impress upon them how knowledgeable you are about her country.

Be aware of the stereotypes so that you know how to disprove them right away. You will hear a lot of outdated ideas, live with them. People will point out that Asian women are out for money, looking for a passport. These unfortunate ideas are slowly disappearing, but you never know when you might hear them from someone who needs to be more sensitive!

Avoid making making assumptions like, ‘Asian women are supposed to be like this’ or , I thought Koreans were supposed to respect their elders’. You’ll most likely end up arguing about it. Most people only start thinking about their identity when it’s brought up, and Asian women are no different in this regard. 

Show people how positive your relationship is. For example, a lot of white women take their  husband’s last name. flip conventions  on their ass by taking your wife’s Asian name. then people can see how much you reall love, honour and obey her. 

Choose an Asian women of approximately equal attractiveness to your own. If you marry an Asian woman of much higher attractiveness, the disapproval will be so great, you’ll never live it down. So go for someone of about the same level of desirability to your own. 

There, I think I just about covered everything.

How to have the perfect WMAF relationship

How to have the perfect WMAF relationship

Having a relationship with a young Asian woman is the target for most single white men. If you are a man taken aback by the bewildering number of women pursuing alternative lifestyles (lesbianism, gender non-conformity) you will be pleased to know that most Asian women are still very traditional and have not caught on to modern cultural habits.

Making sure she is right for you

The best Asian women are home-makers and mothers. They want to make a home for their partner and later on their family… this is her nature. Most Asian women desire to marry, unlike women in the west who are going down their own paths, turning their back on centuries of social conventions. 

Finding the right Asian wife is easy now that the Internet allows us to contact women all over the world without leaving the home. There are dating websites that you can join to allow you to find your perfect Asian partner. Whether you are looking for a girl from South Korea, Japan, or The Phillipines, she is out there wating for you. 

Arranging a meeting

Once you have messaged your Asian woman, you can then decide if you would like to meet her in her country or ask her to travel to you. Please keep in mind that some women will not be able to travel long distances, so you will need to arrange to visit her in her country. 

Getting to know her friends and family

Most Asian women will want to introduce you to her family as long as you are getting on well and are a good match for each other. Be patient when you meet her parents. They may not have very good English. As long as you are patient, you will find that they are happy to have a good relationship with you when they see that you are working hard to get on wit their daughter.

Marriage

Once you have got to know her, and been together for more than a year, the next step is to consider marriage. This is what most Asian women are expecting from you, even if they don’t ask for it directly. The reason is that in some Asian countries, there is less support for ummarried couples, so it makes sense from a financial sense to be in a legally recognised relationship.

Staying together and making things work

I don’t have the stats for how many WMAF relationships end in divorce or separation, but marriage is difficult for everyone. IT’s common for couples to fall out over very small trivial things that signal deeper problems. For example, sleeping habits or lack of cleanliness. Show your willingness to support her as much as you can, but my number one piece of advice that I have heard is: never take your Asian partner for granted. Women in the west may enjoy being independent more but you need to keep her close to you at all times. Not taking her for granted means you can’t spend every saturady night out drinking with your friends expecting her to be happy to wait up for you. If you want to leave her at home whilst you go out balling it with your friends I would suggest that you aren’t really suitable for a beautiful Asian wife. 

Keeping things interesting in the bedroom

Many relationships flounder in the bedroom, because couples aren’t communicating about what they want from each other. It’s common for things to lose their spice. And some couples may fall out of lust with each other.  But as the old saying goes, those who enjoy the party stay the longest! Share erotic stories, watch pornography together, and even try swinging. All of these things can have a very beneficial effect on your sexual relationship.

3 Sojus reviewed

Soju, the distilled drink has been the number 1 drink in South Korea and is also the world’s most popular spirit.

For most people, soju is a cheap, simple alcohol with little taste. The drink is only made in South Korea and can be distilled from bamboo or sweet potato. It is best drunk with food, barbecue and raw fish for example. It’s rare to see Koreans drinking it in more expensive bars and restaurants. Here are the most popular soju brands.

Chamisul – Jinro

1623401181-082739200

Made since 1926, this is the most well-known brands. The taste is little metallic, almost like a solvent. It’s very clean tasting but it has little flavour.

https://www.foodforfoodies.co.uk/

Chum-churum

I really like this one. At first I was sure I was drinking vodka, the taste is very similar although the ABV is only 17.9. I got some citrus here as well and it would be good to try it with a slice of lemon or lime to bring this taste out. Highly recommended.

https://www.japancentre.com/en/products/15464-hitejinro-chamisu

Jo-eun Day

Jo-eun day is a slightly harsher soju that once had a much higher alcohol content that has been successively lowered over time. https://hmart.co.uk/shop/gb/

How to have an Asian girlfriend. (And how to keep her).

Many people have said that they want an Asian girlfriend. But there are some important things to bear in mind, because it’s really easy to be caught out when you’re from too very different cultures. These things won’t be so obvious in the early stages, but I guarantee that after a while they will be – especially if you’re thinking about shacking up together. If you follow these key steps, you’re more likely to have a much smoother and easier relationship with fewer of the issues that can and do arise in many WMAF relationships (or black or Indian and Asian, whatever). 

Number 1 – Be prepared to pay for everything. 

It can take some getting used to, but you have to do this, if you’re used to dating only Western women. For at least the first three months, make sure that you cover the cost of the dates and anything else that comes up. Make sure you pay for any cups of coffee, movie tickets, dinners out and other things. Not fair?? But it kind of is fair. You see, Asian women expect the man to take care of them, because they will take care of you in return.  You can minimise the damage to your wallet by only having relationships with straight -forward Asian women, who aren’t the type to expect VIP tables at nightclubs or front row seats to Bruno Mars. What tends to happen when you pay for everything is that she starts to take care of you in return, and that’s a wonderful thing. It’s more common for women to say that they want to split the bill when they don’t really like you – as I have found, this is because when they don’t have romantic feelings, they want to make this as clear as possible. It’s much better this way, I’m sure you’ll agree.

So what I’m saying is, make sure you never ask her to pay for stuff on dates, at least for the first month or so. This is something most Asian guys understand really well for the most part. Of course, you aren’t giving her money for clothes, bags and makeup, or you really shouldn’t be.

Number 2. When you have an argument, you need to be the first to apologise. 

With western style relationships, if one of you has a fight, it’s normally the one who was in the wrong who must aplogise. But with Asians its more about the man coming to the woman first, offering to comfort her after an argument. Let’s say that you have a disagreement which results in some time apart, and you wait for her to come to you. You’re making a mistake because she will carry a lot of hurt. It’s much better for the relationship to aplogise, so that she can see that you care for her all the time. 

Number 3. Take your damn shoes off!

You might be comfortable living somewhere where you leave your shoes on inside the house, but this goes counter to everything Asians believe in. It’s not worth arguing about, unless you’re Larry David or something, and you don’t want to make this into a sticking point.

Number 4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries. 

The big ones for Asians seem to be Valentines Day (she gets you something) and White Day, a month later, where you return the favour. Again, I think that the quid pro quo makes it better for men. It’s not like you’re doing everything for her and getting nothing back in return.  There are some more special days for couples, but most are for Koreans only. 

Number 5 –  Share your food.

Share your food. In fact, you should make sure that her plate is fully topped up before you see to yours (same goes for any woman you are with). You should aim to do the same thing when you go out for a drink, have a coffee, or eat something at a street-food stand.  It took me a while to do this. But it’s about showing that she is important to you and making her feel treasured, and not thinking of yourself first all the time. 

Number 6 – Talk about your relationship with her

I know most men aren’t very direct with their feelings. But the best way to keep your Asian girlfriend is to remind her of your feelings whenever you can . Do it as often as you can – send texts, cards, whatever. You can see how important this is from the app Between, which was developed in South Korea. They actually developed it so that couples could have  a private space to share all of their memories and words of affection. I’m not suggesting you go that far. But many men have said that Asian women like to text on average several times a day. Don’t date an Asian women if that seems too high. 

Number 7 – Show an interest in her family. 

She will want you to know about her family early on. And whilst you might not think that this is important, you need to show an interest. Once you do this, you’ll find yourself being warmly embraced, at least in most cases (I have heard some stories where her family are hostile but this is more likely the elders, who are dying off anyway, taking their prejudices with them). When she talks to you about her family, it’s her way of showing you that she wants to get close to you and that she wants you to be a part of her life. Some men might find this hard to get used to, but it’s normal for most Asian women to be very close to their family.

These are just guidelines from what I’ve observed. It’s really interesting when you realise how embedded people are to their culture. It goes for Asian women bought up in Western countries too. Don’t think that she is going to ignore all of her culture just because she has grown up in a different system. and if you are planning to stay with an Asian woman for a long time, or even marry one, there are more things to consider, but I’m not qualified to give an opinion just yet.

1 is the saddest number

You know I’ve been in Korea for over five months and although I love nearly everything about living here, there’s just a few things that bother me. Most of them I can deal with. But the number one problem is that in Korea the group is everything.

I knew this before I came but I thought that if I already knew some Korean it would be easy to meet people whenever I went out.

Sadly, the culture of Korean social life means that it’s almost impossible to meet people if you go out alone. You might be lucky and find that people will talk to you out of curiosity but most of the time strangers will be all but politely ignored. The hardest part is seeing large groups of people enjoying themselves but feeling excluded as a single person.

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Some Koreans drinking with obligatory 안주

South Korea has bars where you can go to meet people but Koreans treat these places as restaurants where they just happen to be drinking. It doesn’t matter where they go or how late it is, Koreans will always find a way to eat something.

It’s not that Koreans aren’t friendly, but they are bad when it comes to speaking to anyone they don’t know.

As much as I hate the group culture of Korea, it’s so embedded in their way of living that I’m not sure it will ever change. Still, I can hope.

Korean actor suicide is another #metoo victim

You might think that a news story about a Korean celebrity killing themselves is small news but the recent suicide of actor Jo Min-ki has led to fears that the ever-growing #metoo movement is getting out of hand. Indeed, it has led to many claiming it is a witch-hunt and anti-male.

The actor’s death was announced a day after the South Korean President said that he supported the movement. The very male-dominated country comes near the bottom in terms of gender equality. No wonder that the entertainment industry is rife with stories of abuse and exploitation. The last week has seen the resignation of a governor tipped to be the next Presidential candidate of the country.  Meanwhile one of Korea’s most prominent actors was removed from a film due to claims of sexual harassment which he initially failed to apologise for.   Finally, the director Kim Ki-duk has denied several accusations of rape made by actresses in two of his films.

The question now is what does the movement hope to achieve? The movement has spread across the world through social media but is in danger of becoming completely out of control and disproportionate. If there has been abuse, the right thing would surely be to report such instances to police. Yet, most of the actresses stayed silent and continued to work with the actors and directors whom they now claim abused them.

The fact that the actor committed suicide before any formal charges were bought should concern those who want the perpetrators to face justice. A situation where lives are tarnished in this way is no good for anyone.

Vegan restaurant in Busan: review

Recently I have been thinking a lot about my diet. It’s hard to say why, but I’m beginning to lose interest in meat. Although I’ve eaten meat my whole life, I find myself questioning whether I should continue to do so.

But in Korea at least 90% of the restaurants serve meat, and it’s hard to find anything which is strictly vegetarian. But, after some searching online, I came across this small vegan restaurant in Namcheon, which is one of the most pleasant areas of Busan. The area happens to contain a number of excellent bakeries too, but I didn’t try them today.

The name of the restaurant is 재크와콩나무 (Jack and the Beanstalk Vegan. We took our shoes off outside and were led to some simple wooden tables in the main restaurant area. The first difference between this restaurant and other Korean restaurants is that there is no music. You can focus on the conversation with your companion in a peaceful environment. The menu was printed in English which was helpful.

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It’s easy to make jokes about vegan food without really understanding anything about it. People who think that vegetables are less interesting than meat are forgetting that meat is  pretty boring too until it is seasoned or fried/roasted/baked.

A Korean woman came to tell us more about the menu and later a second woman, the chef and owner gave us her recommendation. She said that the kale and banana smoothie  was delicious so I ordered it. Her suggestion was correct. They are known for a ‘steak’ that is actually made from soybeans but this wasn’t on the menu. Instead I ordered the Burrito set (rice and salad in a tortilla wrap) which came with falafel and hummus.

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The food was extremely fresh and completely organic. I’m always interested in the line between healthy and delicious. For example, bread or pasta made with wholewheat instead of plain flour. It’s really a sign of a chef’s talent that they can make something healthy taste good. Having worked as a chef I can attest to the amount of salt, oil and butter that chefs use to make food taste good.

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The best thing about vegan food is that you don’t get the uncomfortable ‘blow-out feeling’ which often comes from eating meat. This food is light but it doesn’t mean it won’t fill you up or leave you feeling unsatisfied.

The restaurant offers yoga classes in the mornings and evenings in the back room, which is where we ate out lunch. At this point it would be very easy to make some jokes about hippies and people in sandals and hemp and whatever. But I won’t, because it was all done in the best possible way. The chef/owner graciously posed for a photo after our lunch. They serve alcohol  (wine and beer). The price was reasonable at 30000 Korean won for two people.

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Restaurant information.

재크와콩나무

수영구 로 16번길14.

The real Korea

I realised recently it was naive of me to think that I could go to Korea and make all my problems disappear. cause when you move to a new country, you replace your old problems with new ones.

When i was living in London, I though that everything about Korea was good but now I live here and can see it up close I am aware of all the problems. And, and I can see all the good things about London that Korea doesn’t have. Like basic human rights and customer service….. Or at least, the standard of human rights is lower here. visitkorea

It sounds harsh but Korea still feels like a very undeveloped country in many ways. The technological advances don’t change the fact that Korea is still a very backwards country in many ways. Luckily I’m not a woman but I still get some of the negatives living here. A case in point: I’m supposed to stand up if an elderly person needs my seat, even if I was on the train first, or I’m tired.

Or i should respect old people no matter what (why)? I guess people don’t usually want to mention how conservative Korea is (but they should!) because they are too busy mentioning the good things.

The train system is not the only bothersome thing (although I recommend taking the bus instead). Like why do I have to order an anju every time I want to go out for a drink? And even though I haven’t found any places that explicitly ban foreigners, there are many places that will do whatever they can to stop them coming in (which is bad, if not worse). Recently I went to a restaurant but they wouldn’t let me order anything because they said I was on my own. The next time i was with a group of Koreans so it was fine. The point is it shouldn’t have happened at all.

Koreans travelling outside their country would expect to treated fairly but it’s naive to think that foreigners will receive fair treatment at all times. I’m seeing a lot of campaigning for tourism in Korea but if the government wants more visitors they’re  going to have to do a hell of a lot more to get people to come here. Like improving service in shops and restaurants. And making sure that there are adequate signing in transport areas. Otherwise, people will go to Japan instead and who can blame them?

 

What kind of men do Asian women go for?

If you’re a western guy and you’re interested in dating a girl from Asia, what are they looking for? I believe that all women are different but there are a few characteristics in Western men that I think Asian women are attracted to.

Number one: kindness. The ‘nice guys finish last’ concept doesn’t apply to Asian women. In fact, it would be a real disadvantage if you tried to treat them with a lack of decency. Most western women will play games, deliberately making men wait before calling or texting back. But Asian women will be constantly in touch with you and will expect you to call them frequently. The more you call them, or be in communication, the more they will like you.

Number two: men with a normal body shape. I mean, not the kind of gym-toned physique that is held up as the ideal shape amongst western men. I’m basing this solely on the guys I see dating Asian women. Now, maybe they are as attracted to these gym rats as Western women are, but it doesn’t seem this way, and I very rarely see someone with bulging biceps with an Asian woman.

Number three: unattractive, or plain, homely looking men. Maybe Asian women have  a different aesthetic when it comes to standards of male attractiveness, but I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve noticed the imbalance of physical attractiveness in a White male/Asian female couple. The kind of guys who get nowhere with women from their own country are able to get with out and out knockouts. I’ll keep talking about this until I start seeing a less attractive Asian woman with a more attractive white guy, but I haven’t yet. By the way, Korean-American comedian Margaret Cho has a great gag about very attractive Asian women with ugly white guys. You can watch it here:  

Number four: being an intellectual. In other words, you can be a geek, and it won’t be held against you. Why it would be a problem I don’t know. But most western women are idiots, so what can you expect? I feel that I’m not judged by Asian women if I prefer to stay in and read or learn a language instead of going out.