VISITORS to Bulgaria will notice that alongside the Cyrillic alphabet, mashed carrot, and powerful rackia, the country is noted for its traditional yet glamorous women.
Although we will see women in Western Europe still sometimes wearing feminine dress, it’s more of a fashion statement as opposed to regular uniform, because the rules on dress have loosened considerably.
Typically, Bulgarian women dress in a noticeably more feminine way. That means typically longer hair, modest dress, and make-up. And it’s far more common that women in Bulgaria wear tights or stockings underneath their trousers and skirts, in all weathers. As in many countries, the ordained dress code for professional women has included strict guidelines for what women should wear to the office.
As in Japan, Spain, Eastern Europe, Bulgarian women still dress in a more formal and professional way.
I wondered if there were other reasons why Bulgarian women are more likely to cover their legs. Was it the weather? I couldn’t discount it, although it was not particularly cold when I was there.
Was it because there are factories in the city where nylons and stockings are manufactured, making them more affordable than in other cities? That may be a more likely reason.
To try to understand the phenomenon more closely, I visited a small, kiosk in the city centre selling all manner of ladies hosiery. At around 6:30, the store was attended by an old, somewhat matronly lady of about 55. I was aware that my visit was greeted by some surprise, but I wasn’t put off from browsing through the various items on display.
There were dark, tan, and flesh coloured tights in various denier. In the end, I purchased the pair (*pictured below). Not knowing the word for stockings, I couldn’t exchange my purchase for what I really wanted. But it was a nice experience all the same. I imagined how it must feel to wear fabric that clung so sensuously close to the skin. To be aware of it and to be have to adjust it now and again, as women often did.
At the end of my trip, I was still not to sure if women really wore stockings more commonly, or it was just the ones I encountered that did. But it was true of various women I encountered. The expensively dressed glamazons entereing a state function in the government building definitely were wearing stockings or tights (an expert would be able to tell either way). And the last Bulgarian women to really impress me, could well have been wearing stockings under her official airport uniform – if only she hadn’t been behind a desk.
And so, I came away from my trip with a greater appreciation for the women I had met, if only for a very short period of time.
The main thing to know about the dating scene is that when it comes to apps, things change very quickly. The apps of a few years ago aren’t necessariliy the ones people are currently using. Even the way we use dating apps has tended to shift as users find they want something else from them. If tinder was seen as a hook-up app ten years ago when it launched. It’s now likely to be used for relationships….in fact most female users on the app will state that they aren’t interested in casual dating.
Such changes can be annoying. Whilst tinder seems to be the most popular dating app, it’s been challenged by Bumble and Hinge. I don’e really see much point in having either of these copycat apps, which result in the same issues of not bringing up quality matches for most men.
The sites that I have found more appealing have come about due to the increading popularity of sugar dating, effectively paid dating but with some commitment to it so that it doesn’t feel totally transactional.
The popularity of ‘Sugar dating’
As strange as it may seem, some people are happy to give money for someone to date them. With ‘Seeking Arrangement’, you can search for users who are often looking for a male to give them a fincanical support, or just a ‘pay per meet’, to use a common phrase. The common question girls ask is how much can you PPM, effectively money for them to meet you, and in most cases, sex is involved – the practical thing to do is to decline because these girls will ask for more money than an escort, and these tend to be the worst kind of girls out there.
Money CAN buy love
Now there are people who would never want to do this. The idea that you can put a price on someone and then pay them for meeting would seem to go against common-decency. Then again, frustrated with the other apps which require a match before messaging, I find the directness of the sugar dating apps very refreshing. You can message girls whom you like straight away and be clear about your terms. Then it’s on to the date, and in most cases girls want to meet with you straight away. Try to arrange a meeting somewhere fun, and make sure they don’t ask you for some ridiculous amount of money just to meet you. The women I met were happy to meet for a date without asking for money. After that, if both of you like each other, you can make an arrangement to see them. Most girls in London will ask for an allowance, but you’ll only do that if you are sure about them. It could be something like £300, such a price means that you can only realistically do this if you are very rich. And if you are, what’s to stop you! You can have your pick of some of the best women out there. With tinder, you tend to find matches close to your age. But seeking lets you search for any age, and sugar dating tends to be for younger women and older men.
A site with a similar modus operandi is What’s Your Price? The app allows you to make an offer for a first date, like placing a bid. It’s up to the girl to accept your offer, or ask for a higher price. The fun is waiting to hear back from them. The minimum bid is £5, going up to £500. Then when a bid is countered, you need to bid back at an increment of pounds. Sure, the women are likely to ask for more than you offer, but not always. You can even ask here to suggest the amount she would accept from you. You will get some outrageous requests, like women asking for £500 for a date! Fortunately, most women are more reasonable and will often accept your first offer.
What I like about it is you can offer what you are willing to pay. Most guys can easily afford 20 or 30 pounds, and the money acts as an incentive. With luck, the girl will like you enough to want to meet you the next time for free, and you can look at the initial cost as an investment in their company.
The site mentions that you only pay for the first date, and then you meet for free after that. It also doesn’t process any payments, instead making it clear that you pay them in cash, or transfer directly. Now it’s true that you could arrange to meet someone after they accept the amount and then refuse to pay. The problem is that would make you untrustworthy. The girls will expect you to pay what you offered them. It’s up to you to decide on what you think is a fair amount, and then take them on a date somewhere you know you can afford. By refusing to pay the girl the amount you offered, you have a chance that things will turn unpleasant, with the girl likely to accuse you of taking advantage of them. It will be hard for her to see you again after that, and that’s not what you want!
Where time is precious, the site allows people to find who they want with a lot less fuss and allows them to meet far sooner than if they had used the typical apps. This is the best outcome for everyone.
How to make the most of a holiday in Thailand’s bustling capital city.
Plan your itinerary
Make sure you have an idea of which areas you want to visit before you go. For example, Bangkok is massive and a short trip will only let you do so much. Choose an area you are most interested in, and plan your stay accordingly.
Choose a hotel in a suitable area
Find a centrally located hotel with easy access to the city’s attractions. This is the best way to explore the city. Pick busy Sukhumvit if you are interested in shopping, nightlife and contemporary design.
Or alternatively staying close to the river gives you easy to the city’s cultural highlights like the reclining Buddha and Wat Arun.
Choose your budget.
Are you a backpacker? Bangkok has dozens of affordable hostels, and they tend to be in the slightly more interesting, gritty parts of the city. On the other hand, hotels along Sukumvit of course have better connections to the transport links. You get much more for your money out of the centre, and these areas come with the city’s most affordable places to eat. A luxury hotel will be comfortable but will put you at a distance from other travellers and can be isolating. Then again, staying in a dorm means less privacy and comfort.
How much do you want to do?
A day trip with careful planning can include, a visit to the royal palace in the morning, A floating island in the afternoon, then dinner and a show or clubbing in the evening, but you won’t have the energy to do that every day.
Are you here for the red light shows?
Then avoid certain areas and choose a place to stay with access to cheaper hotels, massage and go-go bars, such as Silom.
If you are on a family trip, think about the places which are suitable for children. Bangkok has parks, zoos, and resorts where children can play happily.
Take the time to learn the beginner phrases in Thai, making it easier to get around and be understood.
How to have a WMAF relationship (and not be creepy)
The best thIng ABOUT WMAF relationships is that each party is trying something new – learning about each other’s respective cultures. All this can mean that it’s possible to be carried away by the sheer novelty of it.
Many WMAF couples become so enraptured with each other that they can ignore the fact that other people may not see their union in such a rosy light. The fact is, it’s not always so warmly accepted. The strength of the attraction has seen some people complain that some white men have an Asian fetish and look to sleep with as many Asian women as possible.
And unfortunately, a fair few in the west are seemingly so triggered by the sight of an Asian woman with a white guy that they assume it must be coercive and even exploitative.
The good thing is, you can avoid this happening if you abide by these rules. First, don’t be someone who only talks to girls because of their race or ethnicity. If you do this, you will find it harder to see their individuality and that also means you will be more likely to attract an Asian woman who is only attracted to your race as well.
Seek out the Asian women with similar personailities, likes and dislikes. Definitely don’t fall into the trap of thinking that ALL Asian women are going to behave in a certain way.
You don’t want to be the guy who expects Asian women to be always submissive, quiet and well-behaved.
Avoid making attempts at getting to know everything about where she comes from. That’s too eager, a mistake I made several times, and then I learned my errors. You can talk about your own culture as much as you like, but you do not need to impress upon them how knowledgeable you are about her country.
Be aware of the stereotypes so that you know how to disprove them right away. You will hear a lot of outdated ideas, live with them. People will point out that Asian women are out for money, looking for a passport. These unfortunate ideas are slowly disappearing, but you never know when you might hear them from someone who needs to be more sensitive!
Avoid making making assumptions like, ‘Asian women are supposed to be like this’ or , I thought Koreans were supposed to respect their elders’. You’ll most likely end up arguing about it. Most people only start thinking about their identity when it’s brought up, and Asian women are no different in this regard.
Show people how positive your relationship is. For example, a lot of white women take their husband’s last name. flip conventions on their ass by taking your wife’s Asian name. then people can see how much you reall love, honour and obey her.
Choose an Asian women of approximately equal attractiveness to your own. If you marry an Asian woman of much higher attractiveness, the disapproval will be so great, you’ll never live it down. So go for someone of about the same level of desirability to your own.
Near the end of that amazing book by the writer and chef Eddie Huang, he talks about his idea of a neighbourhood restaurant.
Im going to paraphrase here but the essence of a neighbourhood place is one where everyone is welcome. you don’t need to buy anything , and you especially don’t need to make a purchase in order to use the wifi. In other words, the young who often don’t have Money would still be welcome to come in to a neighbourhood joint, because there are so few other options for them. Huang’s sense of generosity is not limited to the customers. He expects his staff to leave him and get better Jobs. Sadly in the real world we don’t put these selfless ideas in to practice. Not only do we expect to have to pay for things that should be free, we are expected to look up to people who go to all these supposedly cool places for free and get paid to promote them to people like you. I’ll save what I think about Instagram for another post. What I’ll say here is I’m tired of people being made to feel they’re not good enough because they haven’t been to some restaurant, or bar, that’s overrated anyway… It’s not only women who do this, although it’s easier for women to simply use their image to get paid to sit around in a Jacuzzi.
Lets face it, these women are getting paid, and if you think I’m lying, when was the last time you saw a typical Instagrammer simply doing something nice for somebody else, not because it was for money, or for more followers, just because they could help someone who maybe doesn’t have the same high-level public image that they are fortunate to have themselves. You can be sure I’m not bitter about this.
The truth is, I can remember when I couldn’t get a date. If you don’t have money, it’s going to be really hard to get a girl interested in you. Then when I was thirty I was finally able to take women out, but we could only share a dinner somewhere or maybe just have a starter each and then leave. As quaint and funny as that sounds, I’d have loved to have been able to do more with women at that time. Being poor is romanticised by people who have money but I’ll be honest it’s really not that much fun.
A dating coach famously announced that he didn’t consider British Women to be worth dating, based mainly on their looks and attitudes. His name is Richard Ruina, although for the purposes of this article it doesn’t really matter.
On the other hand, a number of people (British, it must be said) leapt to their defence, calling the guru a dick, asshole, and misogynist. I don’t have the right to criticise anyone, least of all when it comes to appearances. But I can see how some might consider women who are overweight, sport tattoos, and are badly dressed, as being unattractive.
So what’s the truth of the matter? The fact is, there are some stunners (at the top end) and a lot of average women in between, and then the ‘mingers’ (british slang for unattractive) making up a large group at the bottom.
It’s the last group that are responsible for the low opinion held for British women in the UK. The women seen on holidays in Spain and Greece, for example, acting like hooligans or ‘ladettes’ according to some British tabloids. The majority of British women are not like this at all. In fact, there is a rich phenotype made up of mixed races in many English women, which is why you will find it quite difficult to identify a British woman from women from other countries in Europe.
Still, if you’re a man from England, you’ll probably have some complaints about British women being cold, too demanding, difficult to please. As a result, you’ll probably enjoy dating women from other countries who visit here. And that doesn’t mean you think British women are ugly, just that it’s good to have some new experiences.
I had only been living in New Malden for a few months, the nondescript suburban neighborhood in South-west London between Wimbledon and Kingston. It’s not known by anyone outside of the area, except for one thing. It has the largest Korean community outside of Korea, and for me that was the reason why I ended up spending more than five years there.
I was living right in the middle of Korea-town – and as far I was concerned this was the best place in London to be. There may have been trendy areas outside – that were better connected to the rest of London. But what did I care? I had twenty Korean restaurants to visit – this was the closest I was going to get to Korea without moving there.
To give things some context, only two years before, Psy had smashed internet records by being the most played video on Youtube. Korean movies had already become well-known, and people were getting excited by Korean dramas. The K-pop scene had yet to become the all-conquering global power it is now, but it was getting there. But all this is just the frills, the extras on what was and is my primary reason for becoming interested in Korea.
I really started to notice the women when I moved to Korea town. The first thing I did was try to learn Korean. There’s no better way to meet a girl than attempting to speak her language. At the same time this was happening I got my first law firm job – providing personal injury support for road accident victims.
Maybe it wasn’t the best job – I was far too underpaid for the stress I got trying to meet targets- but there was one thing that made me happy to come to work each day.
Nak-young was a legal secretary who started working a month after I did. Eun Young was married and had a child. Not that that stopped me speaking to her. Nak-young was tall and slim. As far I was concerned she was the most beautiful woman in my life – she had the oval face, pale skin and full lips that are associated with Korean beauty. She was much nicer than most of the k-pop girls as well. She looked great wearing a hoodie or full evening wear. I soon started treating Nak-young as a close friend and the time we spent together was extremely precious to me.
We didn’t stop seeing each other after I left the job – she got to know me even better – as I felt that i could tell her everything about myself. i started to realise that there were two types of women as far as Asian women are concerned. There are those girls you can go out with – who may go on to be your girlfriend. Then there are those who will become your close friend, someone you can confide in, on the understanding that you will remain only friends. Even if I knew that Nak-young was never going to be more than a friend, I will say that I learned so much from my time with her.
When we went out the first time she told me about her job as an air hostess, then meeting her husband, and having a son with learning difficulties. The second time, it was her turn to talk about me – and she spent most of the time helping me find a way I could have sex with my girlfriend.
I won’t say that Nak-young was my Asian first time because she was not the first Asian woman I was intimate with ( I count our encounters as intimate based on the closeness of our thoughts). I think Nak-young was smart enough to see how much our experiences meant to me, though I’m sure they were more significant to me than her.
For the first time in my life, I felt that my life had a clear sense of purpose.. I felt there was a clear connection between the spicy heat of pickled cabbage, the green bottles of soju I drank, and Nak-young’s jet black hair, long legs and dazzling crescent moon eyes. My world was good and I loved everything in it.
Many people have said that they want an Asian girlfriend. But there are some important things to bear in mind, because it’s really easy to be caught out when you’re from too very different cultures. These things won’t be so obvious in the early stages, but I guarantee that after a while they will be – especially if you’re thinking about shacking up together. If you follow these key steps, you’re more likely to have a much smoother and easier relationship with fewer of the issues that can and do arise in many WMAF relationships (or black or Indian and Asian, whatever).
Number 1 – Be prepared to pay for everything.
It can take some getting used to, but you have to do this, if you’re used to dating only Western women. For at least the first three months, make sure that you cover the cost of the dates and anything else that comes up. Make sure you pay for any cups of coffee, movie tickets, dinners out and other things. Not fair?? But it kind of is fair. You see, Asian women expect the man to take care of them, because they will take care of you in return. You can minimise the damage to your wallet by only having relationships with straight -forward Asian women, who aren’t the type to expect VIP tables at nightclubs or front row seats to Bruno Mars. What tends to happen when you pay for everything is that she starts to take care of you in return, and that’s a wonderful thing. It’s more common for women to say that they want to split the bill when they don’t really like you – as I have found, this is because when they don’t have romantic feelings, they want to make this as clear as possible. It’s much better this way, I’m sure you’ll agree.
So what I’m saying is, make sure you never ask her to pay for stuff on dates, at least for the first month or so. This is something most Asian guys understand really well for the most part. Of course, you aren’t giving her money for clothes, bags and makeup, or you really shouldn’t be.
Number 2. When you have an argument, you need to be the first to apologise.
With western style relationships, if one of you has a fight, it’s normally the one who was in the wrong who must aplogise. But with Asians its more about the man coming to the woman first, offering to comfort her after an argument. Let’s say that you have a disagreement which results in some time apart, and you wait for her to come to you. You’re making a mistake because she will carry a lot of hurt. It’s much better for the relationship to aplogise, so that she can see that you care for her all the time.
Number 3. Take your damn shoes off!
You might be comfortable living somewhere where you leave your shoes on inside the house, but this goes counter to everything Asians believe in. It’s not worth arguing about, unless you’re Larry David or something, and you don’t want to make this into a sticking point.
Number 4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries.
The big ones for Asians seem to be Valentines Day (she gets you something) and White Day, a month later, where you return the favour. Again, I think that the quid pro quo makes it better for men. It’s not like you’re doing everything for her and getting nothing back in return. There are some more special days for couples, but most are for Koreans only.
Number 5 – Share your food.
Share your food. In fact, you should make sure that her plate is fully topped up before you see to yours (same goes for any woman you are with). You should aim to do the same thing when you go out for a drink, have a coffee, or eat something at a street-food stand. It took me a while to do this. But it’s about showing that she is important to you and making her feel treasured, and not thinking of yourself first all the time.
Number 6 – Talk about your relationship with her.
I know most men aren’t very direct with their feelings. But the best way to keep your Asian girlfriend is to remind her of your feelings whenever you can . Do it as often as you can – send texts, cards, whatever. You can see how important this is from the app Between, which was developed in South Korea. They actually developed it so that couples could have a private space to share all of their memories and words of affection. I’m not suggesting you go that far. But many men have said that Asian women like to text on average several times a day. Don’t date an Asian women if that seems too high.
Number 7 – Show an interest in her family.
She will want you to know about her family early on. And whilst you might not think that this is important, you need to show an interest. Once you do this, you’ll find yourself being warmly embraced, at least in most cases (I have heard some stories where her family are hostile but this is more likely the elders, who are dying off anyway, taking their prejudices with them). When she talks to you about her family, it’s her way of showing you that she wants to get close to you and that she wants you to be a part of her life. Some men might find this hard to get used to, but it’s normal for most Asian women to be very close to their family.
These are just guidelines from what I’ve observed. It’s really interesting when you realise how embedded people are to their culture. It goes for Asian women bought up in Western countries too. Don’t think that she is going to ignore all of her culture just because she has grown up in a different system. and if you are planning to stay with an Asian woman for a long time, or even marry one, there are more things to consider, but I’m not qualified to give an opinion just yet.