One of the things that annoys me by the glib term ‘yellow fever’ is that it only looks at one side of the equation. If you’re a white guy and you prefer to date women of a particular country, for example, China, you might feel a level of stigma for doing so. Maybe you prefer Asian women because of their interesting personalities. Or you like their unique dress sense. It could be that you have a unique feeling when you spend time with them that you never have when you are with women of other nationalities. Like creatures of habit, we Asian fanciers know from experience that we want to be with the yellow women, and it’s going to take a lot more than the disaproval of a bunch of angry man-hating liberals to make change our ways.
It is a bit rich to criticise men for favouring ‘eastern’ women, when those women profess an equally strong preference for men of Caucasian race.
Another oft-mentioned claim is that white men exploit Asian women who they consider an easy target. This is not only a gross oversimplification, but it ignores something far more noticeable. The lack of desirability of many white women, along with their ridiculous levels of expectation, means that most white guys don’t stand a chance with women of their own race. If you were constantly ridiculed by women growing up, and seen as a loser by women in your surroundings, how are you able to form healthy relationships with the opposite sex? Its because men who move to Asian countries experience such a positive response from the
women there that they begin to see themselves in a new light, and finally have the confidence to start approaching women in a natural and healthy way. It’s this new-found confidence that gives men the ability to start trading up – giving them the opportunity to meet girls considered out of their league back home.
If you’ve ever been on a date with someone whom you met through a datingapplication, be it tinder or similar, you probably faced a whole load of questions about things. Should you pay for the first date? Do you kiss her? Where do you go? Should it be somewhere expensive, or just a causal place? The problem is, no-one knows the answer. It’s why dating has become so much harder, especially now that women want to be seen as equals, whilst still clinging to the idea that men should pay for everything.
The other thing you hear is that men dating white women have to jump through so many hoops, prompting one internet writer to declare that the real reason whitewomen are against men dating Asian women – they don’t want other men to see how easy it is when there are no games to play and you don’t need to go to great lengths to win her approval.
You hear so much about white men and Asian women, but what about the
reversal? If you’re a woman who likes Korean or Japanese culture, you’re
probably equally interested in men of the culture. Surely all the fans screaming at BTS aren’t just excited about the music? Yet, nobody has suggested that these women are racially stereotyping these men.
Why I prefer Asian women
Not that I’m some kind of pervert or anything, but I do happen to believe that Asian women have the nicest bodies of women anywhere. I have tried women all over the world, so it’s not like I’m an experienced loser who likes Asian women because those are the only women he has been with.
Do Western women even want to dress nice and make an effort? Lets face it, they never wear the clothes and accessories that men like. If they wore some nice skirts with tights and heels, wore make up an went to the gym, I might have a scintilla of interest. As it is, they way they dress makes me want to cover my eyes in shock.
You can bet I was swiping right on all of these. A fair few girls still like to wear denim cuttoffs, and why not? As I said, it’s all about looking as good as you possibly can. True, these aren’t the youngest women, but with my age fast approaching 40, there’s not too much I can do about that. Sometimes I think about settling down ( I will, eventually). But at the moment, I’m having so much fun getting to know these wonderful women. London has more Asian women than I will ever be able to date and I have no intention of ever stopping. All I can say is they have changed my life and they have changed it for the better.
Recently I’ve been thinking about internet dating and how common it has become.
Sites such as Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish are popular becuase they are free to use (although both offer premium rates for added services). As well as these online websites (which offer a traditional approach to dating where if you like someone’s profile page you will send them a message and arrange to meet in person) there is Tinder, which offers a much more direct approach where you simply choose someone on the basis of looks (I wonder what could go wrong with that approach)?
After trying these three sites I can give you my informed conclusion that the world of online dating is not a world I want to be part of.
Firstly, online dating is a numbers game. Being man puts you at an instant disadvantage becuase of the sheer number of weirdos out there. I talked to women about their experiences of onine dating and they told me that most of the messages they were sent were deleted because they were either overtly sexual or just very inappropriate. It seems that any girl on on a dating website is going to be bombarded with messages. When I signed up with Ok Cupid I found myself reading dozens of profiles of different women, I felt as though I suddenly had access to all kinds of great women and they were all single like me.
However the downside to all this is that you could spend all your time looking for the perfect woman whilst ignoring those who don’t fit your profile of what an ideal woman should be.
I went on a total of eight dates (by date I’m talking about a pre-arranged meeting at a mutually agreed time and place). I found them on the whole to be frustrating, dull and a little bit sad. The women all made at least some effort to be appear interesting, but the conversation was often strained. If I’m being honest, it didn’t help that I chose very typical standard dating venues, ie, pub/restaurant/bar. On these occasions I felt as though I was on a job interview where I was allowed to drink alcolhol. On most dates, you need to be prepared to talk about yourself a lot. If you’re not comfortable with that you’re going to be sitting squirming in your seat, helplessly holding on to the plastic spoon in your drink. The women I went out with seemed to have a list of questions in their head that they wanted to ask me and it felt as though I was taking part in a boyfriend suitability test.
Tinder was the most annoying of the sites. Being able to use your phone’s GPS signal means that you should be able to track down the closest women to you by area. It should be perfect. But instead of cutting through the bullshit that I got caught up in on the other websites (sending messages, waiting days for a reply) I found Tinder to be just as bad. Because you can’t send someone a message until they have ‘liked’ you (the mutual interest rule), it wasn’t possible for me to contact any of the women in my local area whom I would have had the best chances with.
A recent book by the actor and comedian Aziz Ansari explores the world of online dating. In it, Aziz comes to the conclusion that if you only go on boring standard date venues like bars and retaurants you will have boring standard dates. It would be better to take someone somewhere completely unexpected. (in the book, a couple bonded by visiting car rallies, partly becuase they were both fascinated by the strange characters who attended them). I never got the opportunity to go on any random dates, sadly. But I would have liked a diversion, perhaps to an amusement park, an open air concert or even a museum.
Another encounter Ansari describes is of meeting a young man in a small American town.
He told Ansari that he was confident that he woud meet a nice woman eventually. He said that no matter how much a person bugs you, once you get to them you realise that they’re not so bad. A person may not clip their toenails regularly or change their socks but these things you can get used to. Maybe we’re all judging people too quickly. I wonder if anyone is truly at the best on a first date anyway? Perhaps my dating forays would have been more successful if I’d gone for a second or third date, rather than looking for a new woman straight away after a disappointing date.
But I do know that it’s much nicer meeting people offline. And seriously, if a person is happy with someone not changing their socks or clipping their toenails they need to think about raising their standards.