Tag Archives: women

Sugar Dating

Compensated dating; is it for you?

Seeking is the most popular ‘sugar dating’ site

The main thing to know about the dating scene is that when it comes to apps, things change very quickly. The apps of a few years ago aren’t necessariliy the ones people are currently using. Even the way we use dating apps has tended to shift as users find they want something else from them. If tinder was seen as a hook-up app ten years ago when it launched. It’s now likely to be used for relationships….in fact most female users on the app will state that they aren’t interested in casual dating. 

Such changes can be annoying. Whilst tinder seems to be the most popular dating app, it’s been challenged by Bumble and Hinge. I don’e really see much point in having either of these copycat apps, which result in the same issues of not bringing up quality matches for most men. 

The sites that I have found more appealing have come about due to the increading popularity of sugar dating, effectively paid dating but with some commitment to it so that it doesn’t feel totally transactional.

As strange as it may seem, some people are happy to give money for someone to date them. With ‘Seeking Arrangement’, you can search for users who are often looking for a male to give them a fincanical support, or just  a ‘pay per meet’, to use a common phrase. The common question girls ask is how much can you PPM, effectively money for them to meet you, and in most cases, sex is involved – the practical thing to do is to decline because these girls will ask for more money than an escort, and these tend to be the worst kind of girls out there.

The landing page of Seeking doesn’t mention paid dating, but it’s at the core of it’s activity.

Now there are people who would never want to do this. Then again, frustrated with the other apps which require a match before messaging, I find the directness of the sugar dating apps very refreshing. You can message girls whom you like straight away and be clear about your terms. Then it’s on to the date, and in most cases girls want to meet with you straight away. Try to arrange a meeting somewhere fun, and make sure they don’t ask you for some ridiculous amount of money just to meet you. The women I met were happy to meet for a date without asking for money. After that, if both of you like each other, you can make an arrangement to see them. Most girls in London will ask for an allowance, but you’ll only do that if you are sure about them. It could be something like £300, such a price means that you can only realistically do this if you are very rich. And if you are, what’s to stop you! You can have your pick of some of the best women out there. With tinder, you tend to find matches close to your age. But seeking lets you search for any age, and sugar dating tends to be for younger women and older men. 

A site with a similar modus operandi is What’s Your Price? The app allows you to make an offer for a first date, like placing a bid. It’s up to the girl to accept your offer, or ask for a higher price. The fun is waiting to hear back from them. The minimum bid is £5, going up to £500. Then when a bid is countered, you need to bid back at an increment of pounds. Sure, the women are likely to ask for more than you offer, but not always. You can even ask here to suggest the amount she would accept from you. You will get some outrageous requests, like women asking for £500 for a date! Fortunately, most women are more reasonable and will often accept your first offer. 

What I like about it is you can offer what you are willing to pay. Most guys can easily afford 20 or 30 pounds, and the money acts as an incentive. With luck, the girl will like you enough to want to meet you the next time for free, and you can look at the initial cost as an investment in their company. 

Girls can send requests for offers, and it’s up to you to accept or counter.

The site mentions that you only pay for the first date, and then you meet for free after that. It also doesn’t process any payments, instead making it clear that you pay them in cash, or transfer directly. Now it’s true that you could arrange to meet someone after they accept the amount and then refuse to pay. The problem is that would make you untrustworthy. The girls will expect you to pay what you offered them. It’s up to you to decide on what you think is a fair amount, and then take them on a date somewhere you know you can afford. By refusing to pay the girl the amount you offered, you have a chance that things will turn unpleasant, with the girl likely to accuse you of taking advantage of them. It will be hard for her to see you again after that, and that’s not what you want!

Where time is precious, the site allows people to find who they want with a lot less fuss and allows them to meet far sooner than if they had used the typical apps. This is the best outcome for everyone.

WMAF

How to have a WMAF relationship (and not be creepy)

The best thIng ABOUT WMAF relationships is that each party is trying something new – learning about each other’s respective cultures. All this can mean that it’s possible to be carried away by the  sheer novelty of it. 

Many WMAF couples become so enraptured with each other that they can ignore the fact that other people may not see their union in such a rosy light. The fact is, it’s not always so warmly accepted. The strength of the attraction has seen some people complain that some white men have an Asian fetish and look to sleep with as many Asian women as possible. 

And unfortunately, a fair few in the west are seemingly so triggered by the sight of an Asian woman with a white guy that they assume it must be coercive and even exploitative. 

The good thing is, you can avoid this happening if you abide by these rules. First, don’t be someone who only talks to girls because of their race or ethnicity. If you do this, you will find it harder to see their individuality and that also means you will be more likely to attract an Asian woman who is only attracted to your race as well. 

Seek out the Asian women with similar personailities, likes and dislikes. Definitely don’t fall into the trap of thinking that ALL Asian women are going to behave in a certain way. 

You don’t want to be the guy who expects Asian women to be always submissive, quiet and well-behaved. 

Avoid making attempts at getting to know everything about where she comes from. That’s too eager, a mistake I made several times, and then I learned my errors. You can talk about your own culture as much as you like, but you do not need to impress upon them how knowledgeable you are about her country.

Be aware of the stereotypes so that you know how to disprove them right away. You will hear a lot of outdated ideas, live with them. People will point out that Asian women are out for money, looking for a passport. These unfortunate ideas are slowly disappearing, but you never know when you might hear them from someone who needs to be more sensitive!

Avoid making making assumptions like, ‘Asian women are supposed to be like this’ or , I thought Koreans were supposed to respect their elders’. You’ll most likely end up arguing about it. Most people only start thinking about their identity when it’s brought up, and Asian women are no different in this regard. 

Show people how positive your relationship is. For example, a lot of white women take their  husband’s last name. flip conventions  on their ass by taking your wife’s Asian name. then people can see how much you reall love, honour and obey her. 

Choose an Asian women of approximately equal attractiveness to your own. If you marry an Asian woman of much higher attractiveness, the disapproval will be so great, you’ll never live it down. So go for someone of about the same level of desirability to your own. 

There, I think I just about covered everything.

How to have the perfect WMAF relationship

How to have the perfect WMAF relationship

Having a relationship with a young Asian woman is the target for most single white men. If you are a man taken aback by the bewildering number of women pursuing alternative lifestyles (lesbianism, gender non-conformity) you will be pleased to know that most Asian women are still very traditional and have not caught on to modern cultural habits.

Making sure she is right for you

The best Asian women are home-makers and mothers. They want to make a home for their partner and later on their family… this is her nature. Most Asian women desire to marry, unlike women in the west who are going down their own paths, turning their back on centuries of social conventions. 

Finding the right Asian wife is easy now that the Internet allows us to contact women all over the world without leaving the home. There are dating websites that you can join to allow you to find your perfect Asian partner. Whether you are looking for a girl from South Korea, Japan, or The Phillipines, she is out there wating for you. 

Arranging a meeting

Once you have messaged your Asian woman, you can then decide if you would like to meet her in her country or ask her to travel to you. Please keep in mind that some women will not be able to travel long distances, so you will need to arrange to visit her in her country. 

Getting to know her friends and family

Most Asian women will want to introduce you to her family as long as you are getting on well and are a good match for each other. Be patient when you meet her parents. They may not have very good English. As long as you are patient, you will find that they are happy to have a good relationship with you when they see that you are working hard to get on wit their daughter.

Marriage

Once you have got to know her, and been together for more than a year, the next step is to consider marriage. This is what most Asian women are expecting from you, even if they don’t ask for it directly. The reason is that in some Asian countries, there is less support for ummarried couples, so it makes sense from a financial sense to be in a legally recognised relationship.

Staying together and making things work

I don’t have the stats for how many WMAF relationships end in divorce or separation, but marriage is difficult for everyone. IT’s common for couples to fall out over very small trivial things that signal deeper problems. For example, sleeping habits or lack of cleanliness. Show your willingness to support her as much as you can, but my number one piece of advice that I have heard is: never take your Asian partner for granted. Women in the west may enjoy being independent more but you need to keep her close to you at all times. Not taking her for granted means you can’t spend every saturady night out drinking with your friends expecting her to be happy to wait up for you. If you want to leave her at home whilst you go out balling it with your friends I would suggest that you aren’t really suitable for a beautiful Asian wife. 

Keeping things interesting in the bedroom

Many relationships flounder in the bedroom, because couples aren’t communicating about what they want from each other. It’s common for things to lose their spice. And some couples may fall out of lust with each other.  But as the old saying goes, those who enjoy the party stay the longest! Share erotic stories, watch pornography together, and even try swinging. All of these things can have a very beneficial effect on your sexual relationship.

The great big Instagram LIE

Near the end of that amazing book by the writer and chef Eddie Huang, he talks about his idea of a neighbourhood restaurant.

Im going to paraphrase here but the essence of a neighbourhood place is one where everyone is welcome. you don’t need to buy anything , and you especially don’t need to make a purchase in order to use the wifi. In other words, the young who often don’t have Money would still be welcome to come in to a neighbourhood joint, because there are so few other options for them. Huang’s sense of generosity is not limited to the customers. He expects his staff to leave him and get better Jobs. Sadly in the real world we don’t put these selfless ideas in to practice. Not only do we expect to have to pay for things that should be free, we are expected to look up to people who go to all these supposedly cool places for free and get paid to promote them to people like you. I’ll save what I think about Instagram for another post. What I’ll say here is I’m tired of people being made to feel they’re not good enough because they haven’t been to some restaurant, or bar, that’s overrated anyway… It’s not only women who do this, although it’s easier for women to simply use their image to get paid to sit around in a Jacuzzi.

Lets face it, these women are getting paid, and if you think I’m lying, when was the last time you saw a typical Instagrammer simply doing something nice for somebody else, not because it was for money, or for more followers, just because they could help someone who maybe doesn’t have the same high-level public image that they are fortunate to have themselves. You can be sure I’m not bitter about this.

The truth is, I can remember when I couldn’t get a date. If you don’t have money, it’s going to be really hard to get a girl interested in you. Then when I was thirty I was finally able to take women out, but we could only share a dinner somewhere or maybe just have a starter each and then leave. As quaint and funny as that sounds, I’d have loved to have been able to do more with women at that time. Being poor is romanticised by people who have money but I’ll be honest it’s really not that much fun.

British Women the ugliest in the world?

A dating coach famously announced that he didn’t consider British Women to be worth dating, based mainly on their looks and attitudes. His name is Richard Ruina, although for the purposes of this article it doesn’t really matter.

On the other hand, a number of people (British, it must be said) leapt to their defence, calling the guru a dick, asshole, and misogynist. I don’t have the right to criticise anyone, least of all when it comes to appearances. But I can see how some might consider women who are overweight, sport tattoos, and are badly dressed, as being unattractive.

So what’s the truth of the matter? The fact is, there are some stunners (at the top end) and a lot of average women in between, and then the ‘mingers’ (british slang for unattractive) making up a large group at the bottom.

Women on a night out in Liverpool, a city in the north of England.

It’s the last group that are responsible for the low opinion held for British women in the UK. The women seen on holidays in Spain and Greece, for example, acting like hooligans or ‘ladettes’ according to some British tabloids. The majority of British women are not like this at all. In fact, there is a rich phenotype made up of mixed races in many English women, which is why you will find it quite difficult to identify a British woman from women from other countries in Europe.

Still, if you’re a man from England, you’ll probably have some complaints about British women being cold, too demanding, difficult to please. As a result, you’ll probably enjoy dating women from other countries who visit here. And that doesn’t mean you think British women are ugly, just that it’s good to have some new experiences.

Flight of fantasy

The plane seemed to have been travelling forever. They had been in the air for a few hours, but the time seemed to be going more slowly up there. The plane had made it’s ascent from a London airport a few hours ago, at 2:30 local time. Now it was impossible to know where exactly the plane was, there was nothing outside the window to indicate the country they were flying over. Only two hours earlier, the food trolley had wheeled its way down the aisle and he had selected his meal.

Now he was well into the flight. He had taken his shoes off and was enjoying the in-flight entertainment system. The movie was about a father who had become reunited with his daughter after many years apart. What made it more moving was that the daughter only had a few months to live. When he got to the end of the film he felt like crying.  HE gazed around at the other passengers. They were all absorbed in their various activities. Some were trying to sleep, their neck pillows awkwardly positioned in the headrests. Others were looking at their laptops. They didn’t seem very interesting to him. HE wondered why so few people really cared about their journey, or where they were flying to. The flight attendants had served everybody in great time, and had poured the coffee as he was still eating his steak. He looked at his watch. Local time was 7:30 and he didn’t feel very sleepy. In fact, the coffee had given him jolt of extra energy. Sat in his chair, he felt restless, his body did not want to be still.

He decided to get up and explore. The plane was not entirely full. There were several empty seats around him. In fact, it was not often that there were so many seats on an international flight. There were usually several children and a crying baby that would stay up on the journey. Surprisingly, this time there were no children on board. In fact, most of the passengers were travelling alone and weren’t the usual holiday-goers. The other thing he noticed about them was they didn’t have much luggage with them. Usually travellers carried bags of duty free, they had bags of shopping and various carry on. But this flight was different. They had boarded with minimal luggage, and more to the point, they were exceptionally    quiet, which was odd for people going on holiday who would normally be excitedly talking about their destination.
The flight attendants were all female. He didn’t expect this to be so but it was always pleasant when they were, and occasionally he flew with other airlines and was shocked to find men serving amongst the women. 1

“Can I get you any drinks?”

Usually the use of ‘get’ in this way bothered him but right now he was enjoying the experience of being served by this woman that it was too much for it to bother him. The attendant had to lean over him to pass his glass of wine to him and the feeling of her apron against his shirt made him tingle with pleasure.

Would you like me to bring you something else?” she asked him?

He thought for a moment. There were lots of things he would have liked to get from her. She was wearing a bright red apron with embroidered patterns on it. Her dress was regulation length but he could see that she had good legs. Here height was at most 170cms (and he didn’t mind; he had never liked tall women anyway.

Then he heard an announcement over the plane’s loudspeaker.

“This is your captain speaking. We are currently experiencing some turbulence, Please stay in your seats and keep your seatbelt fastened.”

HE watched as the flight attendants quickly got back to their seats, which were somewhere at the back of the plane.

He hoped that the turbulence would be over quickly. As he fastened his seatbelt, he thought what a wonder it was to be flying. There was no other transport that came close. It was when he was in an aircraft that he felt he could relax properly, a place where no one could get to him. He enjoyed being up in the sky for several hours at once. Time seemed to stop. The plane started to shake violently. It must have been a storm that caused it to flap around so much. Whatever it was, he thought about the flight attendants in the plane. Where did they go at times like these? On a ten-hour flight, he only saw them during take-off and when they were serving the in-flight meals. There weren’t any seats back in economy for them to properly lay down in.  Unless there happened to be some private rooms tucked away, they must have been sitting in cramped seats no bigger than the one he was sitting in at that moment.

AS the plane began to steady itself, he waited for the seatbelt sign to be switched off so that he could move about on the plane. He also wanted to see where the special flight attendant was sitting so that he could talk to her again. Would she be wearing her high-heeled shoes? Or would she have slipped them off? Feet could swell, he knew, although he couldn’t imagine this would be a big problem for her. If she was relaxing, would she be sleeping, or was she required to stay awake for the entire duration of the flight? It led to other questions. Where did they change clothes? How did they use the bathroom, and where did they store their bags? All these were a mystery to him. So he decided to take a look for himself. It wasn’t too hard as there were plenty of seats at the back of the plane that were empty. He wandered back where the flight attendants were seated and thought of what he would say to them.

I’m wondering if you could pour me another drink, he asked her. I know drink service has finished but I’m parched and this is a long-distance flight so-“

“What would you like?”

“I would like a gin and tonic.”

The drink would need ice cubes, which had to be scooped out from the bowl at the bottom of the trolley. It was a good thing he didn’t mind waiting.

Heard the sharp hiss of the carbon dioxide in the tonic water rise out of the bottle. The flight attendant was so tall that she had to lean over the drinks table. He thought she looked extremely sexy in her uniform; her stockings shimmered in the dim light of the cabin whilst her face took on an air of studied concentration as she measured the gin and filled the glass.

Waiting for the drink was part of the satisfaction, and when it finally arrived he was more than ready for it.

“ would you like something to go with it?”

He thought for a moment.

“I’ll take some nuts if you have them.”

She picked up some nuts and put them on a steel plate, handed them to him, and took hold of the trolley again.

Stop a minute, he told her. Why don’t you sit down with me? If you have time I mean.

She looked at him, assessing the situation.

“Well, I don’t suppose that would be a problem for just a few minutes…”

The flight attendant squeezed into one of the seats (she really was tall) and he got in beside her. She was like a praying mantis with her legs perched up high towards her arms.

A minute later they were talking about how she got to being an airline worker; whether she liked the job or not.

“It’s funny, when I was younger I never went on holidays. I was always afraid of flying and for that reason I decided to overcome my fear, and this seemed like the best way of doing that.”

Yes, they said that if I took a stimulator first it would allow me to experience the feeling of being in an airplane without leaving the ground.

The noise of the plane’s engine started to get very loud and it felt as though it was moving faster now. Just as he finished his drink the plane began to move upward some more and he felt the pressure in the cabin increasing.

“I want to learn how to pilot a plane one day, when you’re in control of the plane it must be a wonderful feeling to be taking people on a journey somewhere exciting.”

He looked around at the passengers. They were all sitting by themselves and he noticed that there were no children on board either. He started to feel strange and he wondered why this was happening.

“ Where is this flight going?” He asked after a gap in the conversation.

“It’s not going anywhere, we’re flying for an unlimited time until passengers decide they want to leave.

“Then what happens to them?”

Usually when a passenger has grown tired of eating all the food we send another jet to come and collect them and get them to the nearest airport.”

So the rest of the passengers are not really flying anywhere?

“Exactly. Most of our passengers are perfectly content to stay on board as long as two weeks. They have everything they need on board anyway, and they are much safer up here than on the ground.”

“But don’t they get bored?”

You would think so, but many of our passengers have been coming back for several years. “

He looked out the window. Whether it was day or night was impossible to tell. The air he was breathing in was neither fresh nor stale. Every hour the cabin was refreshed with new “air” from the tanks, to stop the air becoming stuffy and to minimize the spread of germs in the air.  

He read somewhere that time moved slower at the top of a mountain than it did on the flat land. In that case, was time moving at all when you were flying in the air, when it was only night for a few hours until it became day again?

 It was a strange way to spend a holiday, never visiting anywhere; but people did all kinds of crazy things on holiday.

“Well, how long do you think I should spend up here?”

“That depends. Did you wish to speak to any of our flight attendants? You can arrange to have dinner in the private dining area if you want to.”

Suddenly the idea of being alone on the aircraft was starting to get improve.

“Would it be possible to have dinner with you?” He already felt comfortable with her even though they had only been talking for twenty minutes.

I’m having dinner

“Yes that will be fine. But will you let me tell you something first? I usually say know when people ask me to have dinner with them. “

“they must really ask you a lot then.”

“They do. But that’s not why I turn them down.”

 Im aware that men look at me in a certain way, maybe they have a fantasy about me based on my appearance, but it’s not how I am in person. I would hate for you to get the wrong idea about me.”

He picked up his bag and went to the washroom. There were the usual assortments of toiletries, hairbrush and toothbrush for him to use. He thought about changing his clothes but then he decided he was fine the way he was. Actually, he was feeling confident and he probably could have changed into the dressing gown and been ok like that. He wouldn’t normally have been so confident, of course. But the fact she had said yes, just like that, made him feel so much better about things. 

Lena was wearing slim-fitted black jeans that matched the colour of her hair. She had paired her top with a sexy patterned scarf and black choker. She looked much less formal than when she was in her flight uniform, but he was just as attracted to her now, if not more.

They were sitting in a small back room in the plane, with a large table and several chairs positioned around it. The usual hum of the plane’s engines could not be heard and the room was hushed and quiet.

‘So is this where you do your flight attendant work?’ he asked her?

“We do most of our safety exercises and procedures here.”

“It sounds so interesting. I’m sorry that they don’t do the pre-flight safety demonstrations any more. I used to enjoy watching those, it was always interesting seeing their expressions as they mimed the use of an inflatable safety vest….”

“We find that most passengers prefer to watch a recorded video instead of focusing so much on a flight attendant. The eye contact makes them feel uncomfortable and they don’t know where to look.”

“Maybe I understand, but it’s going to take me some time to get used to this new way of doing things.”

“What is it you miss about the way it used to be done?”

“The amount of dedication they had for their craft, and they way they could perform with a sense of theatre.”

She smiled.

“Did I do that when I poured your drink just now?”

“ you really put all your effort in to it.”

“Besides, air travel has changed in so many ways. The way passengers board the plane, the safety requirements and the lack of space.

DO you know how much the standard seat width has shrunk since the 1960s?

He looked at his glass of wine and admired the slender stem. They had clearly thought a great deal about the tableware they provided. It wasn’t just that they were nice glasses, but that they were the perfect shape for the table and could hold just the right amount of liquid.

“I’m not sure.”

“Well, it’s a lot. Standard seat width for a commercial flights is now thirty inches. Many of our customers request seats with extra legroom but we can’t offer them anything unless they sit in the emergency exits, or First class. Well, we’d like all passengers to have the same standard of comfort but unfortunately that’s not always comfortable. So we can only give them these reduced-space seats at the back of the plane.

“Well, let’s see what we have for dinner. Are you hungry?”

He looked at the menu which was printed in extra fine font on slightly crinkled paper.  It was the usual mishmash of international food. For the appetiser they were offering seared prawns with simmered avocado qenelles. The mains looked more interesting. The fish was red snapper, grilled and served with a hot wasabi dressing. Meat was a loin of pork with grapefruit jam and chorizo.

It was the kind of food that would be difficult to reheat without losing all the texture. They must have had an amazing team back there in the kitchen if they could produce this kind of food.

“I will have the prawns, followed by the pork. That’s it.”

It was nice eating in a plane; you only had two options and either one was likely to be as good as the other so that he never felt any misgivings about his choices.

‘You know something,” he said to her as she was pouring the wine; ‘I’ve never had a bad meal on a plane.”

“Really? I’m happy to hear it, but you don’t have to be so polite with me.”

“No, I’m serious. Everything has always been fresh, served at the correct temperature, well-presented…. You’d be amazed by the number of restaurants that can’t get that right.”

“We just want everything to be just right for our guests.”

‘But now I think about it, there’s not much they could do if I did’t like the food. I suppose I could try asking for another one. But it’d be exactly the same anyway…”

“Yes, we’d only be able to offer you the same dish cooked exactly the same way.”

The plane carried on flying cruise control. It was almost as if it was following a pre-determined course.

“Do you ever get tired of flying? He asked her.

“Why do you ask me that?”

Just being stuck in the air. Only seeing the airports and never going anywhere exciting.”

“Well we get three days off after every ten. That usually gives us some time to do something exciting.”

“What about when you’re on the plane? All those stupid passenger requests and screaming babies. It would be enough to tip me over the edge.”

“That’s why I’m only working these planes.  I only serve single passengers like you. Besides, we get used to serving difficult passengers after working a few weeks.”

“Do you? That’s interesting….”

He didn’t know what to say next. He admired the curvature of her neck. It was amazing how unique a woman’s body was; there were always different body parts that drew to his attention. As well as being aroused by the whole package, he was able to be stimulated by very specific features as well. Lena’s ears were long, shaped like treble clefs, and her mouth was so enticing he felt that he could fall into it.

“Aren’t you ever afraid of the plane crashing, or having engine failure?”

“Of course, it goes through my mind. We have the best safety measures in place, but there’s always the possibility that something may go terribly wrong. If it does, then we would need everybody off the plane as quickly as possible.”

“You would let the passengers off the plane first, or would you rush past them to the emergency exits?”

“We would be required to make sure that everyone was able to reach the doors first, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing our jobs. But I’m sure that some people would not be so altruistic as that.”

“You’re damn right they wouldn’t. It would be everyone for themselves; but that’s not what always happens on flight disasters, with many heroic examples of bravery from members of the cabin crew, I’ve come across so many.
And that’s not all.”

“We don’t have to talk about this any more. That’s a hell of a dress that you’re wearing.”

“Would you like to go somewhere else to talk? There is a room out back which is much quieter for us, and would give us more privacy. I can go there with you if you like, and we can continue the conversation.”

They went into another room that was even more luxurious than where they had been before. There were gilt tables with decorated wine glasses on them and pictures of celebrities who had flown in the plane before him.

“Would you like to hear some music?”

He thought it seemed like a good idea. He had never been on a plane when they were playing music and he thought it seemed such a good plan.

“What are you going to play me? Something ambient like “Little fluffy clouds?” Or music for airports?”

“Who is that by? Brian Eno? I don’t think I know that one.”

“Whenever I’m flying, I always imagine something very ethereal and almost ghostly like Enya or something very solemn and funereal.”

“Ghostly? Hmm, I think I know what you’re getting at. But we don’t like our passengers to be led down such a path where they could be depressed, or think about the supernatural.”

She went over to the music system and pulled out one of the discs.

 As soon as he heard the opening bars, he identified the music.

“A little Night music?”

“Yes. Very well known but it adds something when you hear it on a plane.”

Indeed, it sounded so light; the strings were pulling him higher in the air.

“Do you want to know something about the other passengers?”

Like what exactly?

“Haven’t you noticed anything a little unusual about them?

“They look like typical business passengers.” And it was true, they did.

“What if I said that they are in fact all aliens, travelling back to their own planet after a long time abroad.”

“I’d say that you were crazy. I would never believe you in fact.”

She laughed.

“yes, I knew you wouldn’t believe it, because they look so normal. That’s why we chose them. They blend in perfectly, don’t they? Nobody would ever know.”

What am I doing here? Am I the only human here?”

“No of course not. There are all of the other attendants. As well as me.”

He looked at her carefully.

“That’s a relief.”


“So what happens now? Does the plane travel far? Couldn’t that take a very long time?”

“Do you want to go back home, is that it?”

“Eventually, sure.”

“You can leave any time you want. Just open one of the doors.”

He looked around himself. There’s no way I’d make it alive, he thought to himself.

“So are you going to stay on the plane after all?”

“It’s not so bad. I can get all the food I need here. And the in-flight entertainment that you provide leaves little to be desired.”

“You’re ok about the aliens?”

“They just look like normal passengers.”

“Yes, they’re really harmless. Like good-natured tourists.”

“Well, most of them are. We haven’t had any problems so far. We try to give them what they want, that way everyone’s happy.”

The plane kept on going. The alien’s home planet was thousands of light years away and it was months until they landed. As it happens, he’s still on the plane, somewhere, someplace, some time.

Jangyu Cafe Street, Gimhae

Finding the perfect coffee in Jangyu Cafe Street

Besides being home to Busan’s International airport , Gimhae has many other things to recommend it as a place to visit. There is the excellent Gaya museum and the tomb of King Suro. For shoppers, there is a large Shinsegae department store and next to the Lotte Water Park there is a massive outlet store.

Last week I visited Jangyu Caffe Street. Busan has its own well known café street in the Jeonpo area of Soemyeon, but I was interested in somewhere off the beaten track. After a stuffy bus ride through the countryside, I was sure I was heading in the wrong direction, but eventually I saw the twisting tubes of the water park and realized I wasn’t far from my destination.

The area is known alternatively as Jangyu Café Street on Instagram hashtags. Most of the cafes were located in a street by Yulha canal in a long stretch of shops. I counted more than 15 cafés, which were impressive looking and the street is free (mostly) of the identical franchises such as Caffe Bene and Tom N Toms. There were so many that I wanted to try but I chose Labelles Heidi because it seemed to have the nicest atmosphere of all the places I passed.

Inside, the design was modern and light. There was a decent selection of cakes and yoghurt. But it was coffee I was there for. They offer a selection of roasts with guidance on the roasting, blend and flavour profile. Bitter, tart, sour, earthy are some of the words used to describe coffee. I could tell it was a great cup with out knowing too much about which coffee they used. It was spacious enough to find plenty of free seats, and much quieter than the more hectic cafes in Jeonpo. There were several ladies yakking away in the comfortable chairs downstairs whilst on the mezzanine the ever present young Korean girls were furiously tapping away on their phones.

A few doors down is Café Stein. I went there to try some very good Gelato, and chilled out for a while reading the Korean books on the shelves. Finally I tried one more coffee in Café 1001. The mood was a little cold so I ordered my coffee to go. But with so many high quality places I am sure to be going back soon.

The Women

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THE ACTRESSES (2009)

Kim Min-hee, Lee Mi-sook, Yoon yo-jeong, Kim Ok-bin, Go Hyun Jeong, Choi Ji Woo

Six actresses, one photo shoot. They are the biggest names in Korean cinema. One is a veteran, with over forty years of experience. two became famous by featuring in beauty contestants and then became huge TV stars, for example, Choi JI-wo got her break in Winter Sonata, the TV program that was ultimately key in getting Korean drama known across most of Asia. The two youngest actresses are still well-known, having worked for independent filmmakers rather than commercial blockbusters.

Starting with a so-so premise – that actresses are demanding, self-obessesed, naricisstic – I was not expecting much. But this docudrama becomes slowly more and more fascinating, as it reveals ever more of the real lives of screen actors.

It’s well known that South Korea has a lot of attractive women but still, you might not be prepared for some of the actresses here. EJ Jong has made a powerfully erotic film about sex Untold Scandal (2003) and he has a way of making these women look absolutely incredible, whatever they are wearing or doing. But never do they reveal much flesh (at one stage an actress worries that her dress shows too much cleavage).

They are beautiful, but are they also interesting too? The elderly actress presents the most intriguing persona, as someone with the most acting experience but the least confidence. Consequently, the younger actresses talk less, perhaps because of the heaily honorific nature of Korean society.

Made a few years ago when such exercises were more frequently explored, the film is an account of a photoshoot which paired six of Korea’s well known actresses for Korean Vogue. A seventh actress – Jeon Do-yeon – was unable to be in the photoshoot due to a pregnancy, leaving us to imagine what the film might have been like with her presence.

Christmas Eve, Korea.

Six of South Korea’s most famous TV and Film actresses have been chosen for a photoshoot for Vogue Korea.It’s the day of the photoshoot. An anxious elderly actress (Yoon Yo-jeong) arrives wearing a heavy fur coat (a reminder of old-style glamour) and apologises for being late. She is both extremely self-possesed and lacking esteem, a contradiction that makes sense when actresses must think about their age and appearance constantly whilst also wanting to be respected for their acting ability. She keeps her fur coat on throughout.

But she needn’t have worried, as she is the first to arrive and must come up with an excuse to why she is so early. Arriving soon after is Choi Ji-woo. Some how some fans from Japan have heard that she is attending the shoot and ask her for autographs in the parking lot. It’s a reminder that no matter where celebrities go, they can never escape fame or be anonymous. Later on, a younger actress remarks that she can no longer go to markets because she is always recongnised; sets are the one place where she can be herself bewcasue she can be around professionals.

Min-hee, looking adorable in her early twenties comes fresh from shooting another film, still jey-lagged but still looking fully made-up, every inch the glamourous movie star.

The other actress who is in her fifties, Lee Mi sook, is similarly concerned with aging. In a reminder of how the industry favours youth, the younger actresses are given better treatment than the women over forty.

Kim Ok Bin, who was barely in her twenties at the time is now more established, has perhaps the most stage presence.When do actresses stop playing the role they have been given and become themselves? It’s something I thought about as I watched the film. As though aware of the need to perform for the camera, they are constantly aware of the need to look their best, with perfect hair and make up.

Yet as the film progresses this mask of fame is stripped away to reveal the women behind the fame. I was engrossed as the film carried on, wondering if the camera crew would be able to keep the increasingly agitated group of women together long enough.

As Christmas eve approaches,  the women are moved by a snowfall, which they watch longingly. Then they start to drink the champagne that has been provided for them. More truths emerge. The two older actresses talk about being divorced, whilst the younger ones look on, unaware of what to say. As they drink more the conversation becomes freer.

“You always pay for it. Nothing’s free”. I wondered about this. we think of actresses as privileged because they seem to have everything they want. I guess it means that even when an actress does well, she suffers in some way Yet when we watch a film or read interviews we are surprised that they are normal people like us. A critic took issue with the fact that the film cannot reveal anything about the actresses because they spend most of the time talking about themselves. Yet the criticism is unfounded. How often in life have we found ourselved unsure of what to say in a particular situation, or only able to speak in clichés? The film is far more realistic as a result of the seemingly humdrum conversations that these women have

The film, which takes place in the most superficial settings, a fashion magazine photoshoot, manages to say more about the human condition than most serious movies twice the length. Whilst a lot must have been left out,  the director has still included some stimulating stuff.

Filming with a hand-held camera allows him to move in close without interfering with the intimate situations. The dialogue – whether entirely scripted or improvised – is full of subtle revelations about the power between men and women. It’s all the more remarkable in Korea to hear these women talk frankly about these subjects. The final scene allows the actresses to reach a feeling of closure, shaking off the rules imposed on them by a male-dominated society and a film industry that measures their worth entirely on their image.

In a nutshell: a seemingly lightweight film is actually a sharp look at the effect of fame and the culture of film acting. When was the last time you watched a film with an all-female cast like this? A must-see for fans of Korean cinema, and cinema in general for that matter.

Sexless Korea

Is it possible that I got it wrong about Korea? Specifically, that it’s really easy to get with women if you’re white?

Whilst there are those who would say otherwise, here are a few reasons why it’s actually hard, really hard, to get even a date here as a foreign male.

  1. The culture is totally different. Yes, it’s obvious, but any of the rules in other countries don’t apply here. The hook-up culture is not the same. For example, Tinder is used as much to make friends as it is for actual dating (or so I’m told).

Some Korean women won’t date foreigners. You could have excellent Korean, be successful and good-looking, but some Korean women won’t date you because you’re not Korean. Although you will see WMAF couples, you won’t see many really top-level Korean women going out with anyone not Korean. As much as I hate it, it’s just a fact of life here.

The clubs are as much for dancing as they are for meeting people. On the two occasions I have been to clubs, I saw that most people were staying in gender-segregated groups. Men were definitely not approaching woman to dance. It would be completely different back home. It’s even harder to approach people in bars, because people sit on separate tables and don’t even place their orders at the bar. Although there is less opportunity to take a girl home here (most people still live at home) Koreans use the same phrase for one night stand, showing that they are at least aware of the concept.

Koreans have a rigid dating culture, and to approach someone randomly on the street, or in a cafe, isn’t really done. Although I have tried it several times, in most cases I could feel that the women didn’t really want to have a conversation with me and made a point of moving on as soon as possible.

The sheer amount of foreign students and English teachers has made foreigners less of a novelty. In fact, I feel largely ignored here, and somewhat invisible, to the point where I can be in a room of Koreans and nobody will acknowledge me.

The possibility that women will feel judged if they go out with foreign men possibly puts them off approaching them in the first place.

Lastly, the fact is that there are some sickos out there who will date a korean woman and flood sites with articles like ‘Korean women are easy’. This sort of thing does nobody any favours. Whilst you must always take something like that with massive grain of salt, whether it’s even true – and ask yourself whether someone who was actually sleeping with a lot of women would want to tell others about it online – it’s going to only make it harder for everyone.

One thing I am seeing is that there are much more Korean men with western women. I guess its because men are much more comfortable dating out of their culture than women here.

Meanwhile any men moving to South Korea in search of easy sex should do an instant reality check.