Flight attendants

=Do you like flying? Although most people hate it, I think there are a number of reasons to love it. Apart from being the fastest way to travel, allowing us to get across the globe in less than 24 hours, it’s very cheap, probably the cheapest per mile of any transport. But for me the number one reason to love flying has to be the flight attendants. Sure, it would be nice to have a little more legroom and space, and I’d prefer it if the flight had fewer people (how are they always full even mid-week), but once I am onboard and I’m greeted by the sweet smile of a sexy young woman, my travel complaints all but disappear.

Snacks and dinner (as well as drinks which can be refilled several times) make the flight extremely comfortable, and when else do you get such attentive service? The narrow seating is actually a positive because it means that the flight attendants have to move closer to us. The other thing I should mention is that most of these women are beautiful and young. I don’t know about Easyjet or RyanAir, I haven’t used them for years. But if you take any Asian airline you won’t go wrong. It’s rare to see a male flight attendant, although it’s more likely on the long-haul flights. the uniforms are good, usually skirts and a tight-fitted jacket. Many flight attendants prefer to wear heels because of the height advantage. All of this means that I’m particularly motivated to fly and often board the plane early. Unfortunately, some passengers couldn’t care less about the service they receive onboard.

Do you greet the attendants when they are welcoming you onboard? Or do you ignore them and carry on looking for your seat? I’m astounded by how many people ignore this basic courtesy. And this rudeness continues onboard, with passengers ignoring requests to follow instructions, keep there seat-belts on, and generally behaving in a unpleasant manner. Like the character Nick in Crazy Rich Asians, (a self-professed airline geek), I always follow the safety demonstration in case their is an emergency, but many airlines don’t do this anymore, preferring to show a video on the seat TV screens, or totally ignoring it. A shame, as I particularly enjoy watching attendants mime the inflation of life jackets and showing us the emergency exits. I guess I’m not alone, because there’s a scene in Chungking Express where Valerie Chow strips out of her uniform and blows into an imaginary life jacket to seduce Tony Leung. The film also has Faye Wong dress up in a flight attendant uniform in the second part of the film.

Actually, a personal fantasy of mine is to fly alone on a small jet with a group of women from Korean air or JAL, just stopping off at airlines to refuel, and enjoying the food and drink onboard. I think there is a real niche out there for people like me who don’t care about where they go, only how they get there. I guess there is first class, which allows for a few passengers to enjoy better service and food, as well as boarding earlier. But my dream is to see these women in and out of their uniforms, to see what happens when the plane lands and the passengers leave. Mostly the attendants have several hours between flights and end up hanging around the airport. All this means you should feel much more positive about flying.

 

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